Confused

I have known I had Aspergers for years, and relatively recently went ahead with diagnosis. To be honest, until today I had thought that I had a pretty good handle on AS. I am a man in my thirties and have developed good coping techniques. I manage to muddle through most social situations. I have even found someone I don't drive entirely crazy and she even married me.

For reasons that aren't important to this post my wife and I decided that we would look into adoption. I must admit, as we entered the process, it was with some trepidation on my part. I knew that I would be in for a grilling by the social workers about the Aspergers Syndrome and some mild depression, which I had experienced during my late teens whilst at University.

With the process started, permission to view medical records given, my wife and I attended a great three day course on adoption and a couple of adoption evenings.

My concerns over the inevitable grilling as it turns out were unfounded. There was no grilling, or interview of any kind. This afternoon a social worker visited us and told us that we would not be proceeding any further - now I want to make it clear here that I have no problem with that per se - adopting a child is no easy thing and the social workers have to put children's needs first. I accept that completely. What did annoy me was the reasons given.

On the advice of the local adoption agencies medical consultant (a pedeotrition apparently), I would be unsuitable because as someone with Aspergers Syndrome and a history of depression, I would be unlikely to form a meaningful bond with a child and would struggle to perform parental duties due to likely social anxiety. Now I have never met this Doctor and I have spent approximately two hours in the presence of the social worker handling our application - and that was in a group setting, with a dozen other prospective adopters present, so I can only assume that this decision was made solely on a stereotypical view of my Aspergers Diagnosis.

Frankly, it has thrown me a little.

Parents
  • Hi, that response from social services seems very strange, after all, they must get children who are on the autistic spectrum and they might benefit from having one parent who sees the world and learns in a similar way.

    Also, surely a history of depression - diagnosed and managed - is a 'safe' option; i.e. a prospective parent who is aware of their condition and carrefully manages it.

    Perhaps it is worth asking for specific feedback from adoption services, and then speaking to this website's helpline?

    Forgive me, I've got no experience of your problem, I just read the post and sympathised with you.

    Good luck, Jo

Reply
  • Hi, that response from social services seems very strange, after all, they must get children who are on the autistic spectrum and they might benefit from having one parent who sees the world and learns in a similar way.

    Also, surely a history of depression - diagnosed and managed - is a 'safe' option; i.e. a prospective parent who is aware of their condition and carrefully manages it.

    Perhaps it is worth asking for specific feedback from adoption services, and then speaking to this website's helpline?

    Forgive me, I've got no experience of your problem, I just read the post and sympathised with you.

    Good luck, Jo

Children
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