• Replies 19 replies
  • Subscribers 84 subscribers
  • Views 5376 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Possibly on the spectrum?

Forrest123

Hello everyone,

I’ve only  just joined this community chat today, so please forgive me if I’m asking any questions that have been asked a thousand times before? But very recently I’ve been seriously considering asking my GP for a referral to be assessed for autism. But I’ve got this worry about being assessed, then they say I haven’t got autism at all. Then I’ll be confused as to what my issues really are. So I’m looking for a bit of advice I guess. Let me give some details as to what makes me think I could be on the spectrum.

I’m a 41 year old man, and I’m in full time employment. I’ve always thought I was different from a lot of other people. I’ve never liked social engagement. I don’t feel comfortable at parties etc... I find conversations hard work, and unless a topic comes up that I’m interested in, then I usually just stay quiet and let others do the talking. Also, I struggle to keep eye contact with others, sometimes I actually start smiling when someone is talking to me, which is annoying because it makes me look like I’m not taking them seriously. Does anyone else do this? Apart from the social issues I have, I’m also someone that spends a lot of time in deep thought about things, I tend to overthink a lot, but that could be due to my OCD. 

I’ve been reading up on autism, and I’ve recently done an online test, which I scored high at. But I don’t think online tests are a reason for self diagnosing. I’ve always preferred routine, and I stick to doing the same things. I find I get obsessed by a certain subject, and I go into it in great depth, until suddenly I completely lose interest in it. I seem to get annoyed by loud sounds more than most others around me. I’ve never been touchy-feely, maybe this sounds odd? But it feels awkward if I cuddle someone. But one of the main reasons for my post today, regards stimming and flapping. Now, all I’ve heard on stimming is, some people do rocking back and forward, things like that. But what I’d really like to know is, does anyone else tap things with their fingers? Because that’s what I do.

This is embarrassing for me to say, as I’ve never said this to anyone before. But for as long as I can remember, probably from the age of 4 or 5, I’ve always played with my fingers, tapped things, and rub my hands together quickly, it’s usually when I’m excited, but it’s also a calming thing. It’s difficult to explain over text, but usually when I get excited I rub my hands quickly, and flap my fingers, or tap things with my fingers. I also twiddle with objects like pens and pencils, and I twiddle them for long periods sometimes. I always do this out of sight of others, I even tap things with my fingers when I’m at work and in my car. Like I say, it’s hard to explain, but it’s something I’ve always done, and I was wondering if anyone else does a similar thing? And could this be a sign of autism? I hope I’ve not just made a fool of myself, but it would be nice to hear from people that are in the same boat. Sorry if I went on a bit. 

Thank you

Parents

  • Hello TelNorfolk, welcome to the forum!.  

    I am a stimmer too and I am awfully over-sensitive to touch as well. I tap /swing my foot all the time and I also touch my hair and face a lot.  My fingers are always busy with something. I had a long list of other examples of these kinds of traits, similar to yours, and I only started to notice that I DO flap, after I was diagnosed.  I imagined flapping was something very childish, but I pat the sides of my head or legs a lot and  I also mimic the patting action (patting the air!) without actually patting anything. I sometimes like to give myself pain which I crave in mild amounts. 

    I guess like many people diagnosed in adulthood, I have adapted my weirdnesses to look less weird or to attract less attention.

    I think the apparent paradox of wanting to touch(stim) and not liking being touched (sensory issues) is somehow due to having extreme control over the touch sense.

    I got myself diagnosed a year ago due to anxiety and burnout.   For the first few months, it was so mind-blowing that I regretted it, but life calmed down after that and I carried on as before.

  • in reply to Plectrum

    Hello there Plectrum, 

    Thank you. I can relate to what you’re saying. I also thought the whole stimming thing that I do is childish. That’s probably the main reason I’ve always tried to hide it from others. I also tap the top of my head, and the sides, I also tap and rub my fingers on my nose, which makes it go red if I do it too much. I tap my kneecaps as well Joy there’s loads. The best way to explain my nose rubbing stim is, I look similar to a hamster when they rub their nose and face Joy I’ve never thought until pretty recently, that it could  be a sign of autism. But I do think I should discuss things with my GP and hopefully get a referral. I definitely have sensory issues. Thanks very much for your message Slight smile

Reply
  • in reply to Plectrum

    Hello there Plectrum, 

    Thank you. I can relate to what you’re saying. I also thought the whole stimming thing that I do is childish. That’s probably the main reason I’ve always tried to hide it from others. I also tap the top of my head, and the sides, I also tap and rub my fingers on my nose, which makes it go red if I do it too much. I tap my kneecaps as well Joy there’s loads. The best way to explain my nose rubbing stim is, I look similar to a hamster when they rub their nose and face Joy I’ve never thought until pretty recently, that it could  be a sign of autism. But I do think I should discuss things with my GP and hopefully get a referral. I definitely have sensory issues. Thanks very much for your message Slight smile

Children
  • in reply to Forrest123

    Apart from tapping feet on the floor and hands on the desk I use my thumbnail to press each finger just above the first joint then first finger to do the same on my thumb then go back at the top of the nail finally back on the top of my hands just below the nail always try to end at my thumb.  I try to make sure no one sees me doing any of this.