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Feeling inferior and depressed because of ASD

NAS66711

I am 25 years old working full time as a service engineer repairing motors, fans and pumps for industrial buildings. I have A levels in History and Geography and decided not to go to university and did part time work at Sainsbury's as well as my studying a BTEC in engineering to get this job. Doing a BTEC is the same as A levels which I took a year after finishing college. Growing up was such a struggle for me as I made more enemies than friends. I was bullied at school and at college it was slightly better and since then I have improved with friendships but all my peers and relatives in my generation ended up going to university whereas a year after I left I did my BTEC. This made me feel inferior as some people told me its better to university as they give you opportunities for higher paid jobs meaning a better life. A few of these people who ended going to uni did not get alone well with me and this led to me having rivalries with family friends and relatives. Also what upsets me as well is when I get alone with someone with the opposite sex and fall in love with them and as it progresses she rejects/blocks me for no reason. All these thoughts and experiences of being different and being an outcast and loser have made me feel very depressed in life. I have feelings of wrath and sorrow when I see my peers achieving such huge success in life such as them getting married or graduated from university which I often see as equivalent to the coronation of a monarch. Would anyone be able to give me advice as to how I can improve relationships with certain people such as your crush and how I can get a career which is professional or skillful without needing to take a degree or extra qualifications.

  • oooh someone else who did history at a level, in a bit of a history geek :). I must say I have similar feelings on the social front and I wish I could offer up answers. What I’m trying at the moment is to push myself to engage with others more - so I’d say maybe you could do that too? (I’m not talking specifically about crushes, just talking with others more generally, which will help to nuke self confidence which is what seems to be the underlying issue here). If you want a chat just send me a message :)

    As for the career - self employment can be fulfilling, that’s my aim because I want to succeed in my terms rather than be a cog in the works of some giant company.

  • in reply to Plastic

    Have you got any links for jobs like this I could apply for? I have friends and a ex girlfriend who have no disabilities at all and people have made fun of me when I talk about something specific such as having a love for buses 

  • Hi - Congratulations on your BTEC-  it's a useful achievement!    Never think of yourself as inferior - I guarantee you have skills that most people don't.

    Depending on how able you are to fit in with the NTs, there's lots of well-paid jobs where you can teach yourself everything you need to know.     One to look at is PLC programming - if you're fixing motors, you'll be aware of the contactors and interlocks and starter circuits for them.

    PLCs are self-contained computers with inputs & outputs to drive things in factories - conveyors, robots, ventilation, access control etc.  from little 4-in/4-out modules to large, complex systems running entire factories.   

    They are usually programmed with simple ladder-logic.    Companies like Siemens, Moeller and ABB are big players and a lot of their training is on-line and you can buy old units from Ebay to play with at home to familiarise yourself with how they work.    All they do is look at the state of their inputs and make decisions to turn outputs on or off depending on their program.     Think of relay interlocks done in a little programme instead.

    These can be niche jobs with big money that most coders have never heard of!

    People tend to be more tricky - you might have more success finding people on your wavelength - I'm aspie and I suspect all my friends are undiagnosed aspies too - programmers, pilots, race engineers - total nerds.     I find them easy to chat to about anything - no judgements or back-biting.