Published on 12, July, 2020
Like most with autism I dont like change and I am finding everything really overwhelming and was wondering how others were coping?
It may seem daft but I am not worried about catching it, well obviously I don’t want to catch it but I am not anxious and thinking that I am going to catch it. It’s the lockdown and lack of routine that is sending me mad. I have my set routines and now I have to stay in I cant follow my weekly routines and this is what is causing me the stress. I do feel like your going to think I am being selfish as all I have to do is stay at home and others are putting their lives at risk, I just cant snap out of it.
A few years ago I had bit of a breakdown when things changed too much and it made me really ill, I am worried this may happen again, I live on my own and am really considering ignoring all the rules and just getting out of here but I no that is wrong and I think the stress of breaking the rules would then cause me an issue.
maybe I am over reacting, what is everybody else doing to get through this?, anybody else struggling too?
Last week I was really stressed and completely couldn’t focus at work. I kept checking covid19 statistics and news every few minutes. So I’ve talked to my manager and asked for holiday. He decided to put me on furlough instead. Until the end of the month. I thought it would calm me down. It did but now I’m getting annoyed by my neighbours who are spending their days in their back gardens with their children, their barbecues and constant music. I know I’m fortunate to have a garden and I know it’s great that they have their gardens and can stay and enjoy the weather in their gardens but it’s driving me mad. Especially the music. And I don’t even want to leave house anymore, I don’t want to go for a walk, I don’t want to see anyone and I don’t want to know anything. I feel more hostile towards the humans, I don’t want to have anything to do with any of them and I just want them to leave me alone.
I understand the human thing. Their annoying me more than usual. I'm suspected corona I'm in recovery yet as theres not enough tests im not tested. Theres a neighbour who kept saying she works in a hospital and theres no cases in our area. Even though doctors etc told me there was. Shes grating on me tbh. She keeps on it's a chest infection. Why dont I just go to the shop etc etc. Joy's of Facebook I guess. I said not everyone is tested she said they test everyone. Shes been a hca about 2 months yet knows more than my doctors
I have a note on my door yet people knock with parcels and expect you to take the parcel. Twice now same guy, yesterday and today!
I cant get to the shop to get the basics. Yet I'm not classed vulnerable to get an online shop.
We have drugged up idiots making a nuisance of themselves all day and night next door.
Hate people even more right now