Published on 12, July, 2020
Like most with autism I dont like change and I am finding everything really overwhelming and was wondering how others were coping?
It may seem daft but I am not worried about catching it, well obviously I don’t want to catch it but I am not anxious and thinking that I am going to catch it. It’s the lockdown and lack of routine that is sending me mad. I have my set routines and now I have to stay in I cant follow my weekly routines and this is what is causing me the stress. I do feel like your going to think I am being selfish as all I have to do is stay at home and others are putting their lives at risk, I just cant snap out of it.
A few years ago I had bit of a breakdown when things changed too much and it made me really ill, I am worried this may happen again, I live on my own and am really considering ignoring all the rules and just getting out of here but I no that is wrong and I think the stress of breaking the rules would then cause me an issue.
maybe I am over reacting, what is everybody else doing to get through this?, anybody else struggling too?
Somewhat up and down. For the most part, I think the way to word it is that I'm coping but twanging. Work pattern is still broadly the same despite lockdown, a few new procedures to follow out delivering, and attempts to distance in the building before hand. Always did give the van surfaces a wipe down anyway, so that's nothing new, just a change of spray, I like a clean-ish van. I'm finding myself grateful that I'm still working somewhat as normal. Home life is up and down. I'm having to shop for mother who lives on her own but has been advised to isolate for 12+ weeks. It was initially a bit of a ballache. Under normal circumstances, even if I did mothers shopping with my own, it was a once a week forty minute job on a Sunday morning. It suddenly turned into a four/five times a week, hour a trip job. Queue to get in. Get in, find they don't have what she needs or what I need, so I have to make another shop trip another day. What they do have, I can only have a couple of which means another repeat trip another day. That has eased a little now, though as the lockdown has gotten tighter, it's restricted my supermarket choice. I now only go to the fairly local morrisons, as I understand the system in place there currently, and have familiarised myself with it. I've managed now to get mother mostly stocked on the things she needs, barring fresh stuff. Bread/milk etc. I live alone anyway, but isolation is proving a bit of a bind. I didn't much get out, but at least I could choose to go out if I wanted, on whatever whim took my fancy. Be it to see one of my few friends, or to the football, or out for a drive to somewhere nice. I find myself pacing around the house. I've plenty to do, but absolutely no motivation to do any of it beyond the bare minimum required. Mood keeps swinging up and down too. One moment I'm fine, then I want to do nothing more than curl up in bed and sleep it out, half an hour later I'm fine again. Strange, strange times indeed. I'm hoping, but getting increasingly jittery about my holiday being a no go. That's usually my break to get away from everything and everyone and the day to day, and just forget the lot and reset. Need them to get it licked and most restrictions lifted/eased by the end of May so I can still go, but it's not looking good at the moment. Can't say I'm doing anything particularly special to get through it, other than sort of gritting my teeth and putting my head down and telling myself it's what needs to be done and to stop being a silly and tough it out for a few weeks.