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Losing Social Skills

NAS62563

Does anyone else feel like they lose their social skills if they don't keep them up? Throughout my life I have had cycles of being regularly in social situations (school, college, uni, work, out with friends) and then other periods such as holidays or whilst unemployed where I rarely speak to anyone, this is where I feel like I lose my social skills and become more socially awkward than before despite being older and wiser. Recently this has left me sounding like a nervous wreck and even sometimes slurring my words at the unexpected encounter with a neighbour for example. I have dated many women in my life and over time it became more natural but now since I haven't met anyone for almost 6 months I feel like I would struggle to even have a date now

Parents

  • When I've been in one of my regular hermit phases, I quite often get into a bit of a panic when I realise I may have to interact with other people. I start to have serious doubts about whether I'll be able to remember how to do it; even simple things like nipping to the corner shop for a pint of milk. I try to recall previous situations which were similar, but the memories are always a bit blurred; except for the ones about some past balls-up or other. My scripting goes into overdrive, and I have do a bit of rehearsing alone out loud just to make sure that I can still make sentences come out of my mouth.

    I put a lot of it down to masking. I feel like I'm an actor who's been asked to appear in a sequel reprising a role that I haven't played for a long time, and I can't quite get back into character. Since that character's words and behaviour aren't spontaneous reflections of the real autistic me, they fade from memory if I haven't read the script and stage directions for a while, and I become consumed by stage-fright. What if I can't remember my part when the curtain goes up? And of course, I know that the director will be rewriting the play as the action unfolds, and that my performances are always reviewed, even if only just by me, as cliched and wooden.

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  • When I've been in one of my regular hermit phases, I quite often get into a bit of a panic when I realise I may have to interact with other people. I start to have serious doubts about whether I'll be able to remember how to do it; even simple things like nipping to the corner shop for a pint of milk. I try to recall previous situations which were similar, but the memories are always a bit blurred; except for the ones about some past balls-up or other. My scripting goes into overdrive, and I have do a bit of rehearsing alone out loud just to make sure that I can still make sentences come out of my mouth.

    I put a lot of it down to masking. I feel like I'm an actor who's been asked to appear in a sequel reprising a role that I haven't played for a long time, and I can't quite get back into character. Since that character's words and behaviour aren't spontaneous reflections of the real autistic me, they fade from memory if I haven't read the script and stage directions for a while, and I become consumed by stage-fright. What if I can't remember my part when the curtain goes up? And of course, I know that the director will be rewriting the play as the action unfolds, and that my performances are always reviewed, even if only just by me, as cliched and wooden.

Children
  • in reply to Trogluddite

    I am similar to this and because I have just moved to a new area it makes it worse. I develop anxiety over "simple" situations such going for a haircut, making a phonecall or going into a shop I haven't been in before

    I struggle to rehearse because even though I now have my own flat, I always feel like someone is listening which puts me off even trying

    I always thought this would get better with age but it hasn't really as I always revert back to poor social skills. I think I do care less as I get older but struggle to improve