I've been living in the countryside with my mum and stepdad for about 4 years now. And I not long passed my driving test which was in September 2019. I currently work part time and then I come home and be on my vr headset playing an online game called 'Rec Room'. Which is a place to build and meet new vr friends. I become so attached to the game and I made friends mainly from america. Which I stay up till like 4am sometimes. I step outside my own home and I feel that people judge me for who I am and with me still driving, I feel I lost connection with my innerself to sit down and listen to my cds. I panic so easily, ofer the smallest things and I look into the past of my pervipus autism attacks and it makes me feel worse. I feel depressed as I feel I might not be succesful to become a DJ and a good YouTuber. I don't have friends to hang out in real life. I feel I becoming to old before my age to notice, is this it? I sometimes feel like I should check myself into a mental institution. Plus on top, NHS says I earn enough to pay for my asthma pumps when really all my money pays towards to live at home, food and my car. And I feel I am weak all the time as I can not seem to say no to certian things. And I try to let go a being a vr manager of a vr radio station but that is a struggle as well. I don't where to begin and where to finish.