I feel I am handling to much on my plate

I've been living in the countryside with my mum and stepdad for about 4 years now. And I not long passed my driving test which was in September 2019. I currently work part time and then I come home and be on my vr headset playing an online game called 'Rec Room'. Which is a place to build and meet new vr friends. I become so attached to the game and I made friends mainly from america. Which I stay up till like 4am sometimes. I step outside my own home and I feel that people judge me for who I am and with me still driving, I feel I lost connection with my innerself to sit down and listen to my cds. I panic so easily, ofer the smallest things and I look into the past of my pervipus autism attacks and it makes me feel worse. I feel depressed as I feel I might not be succesful to become a DJ and a good YouTuber. I don't have friends to hang out in real life. I feel I becoming to old before my age to notice, is this it? I sometimes feel like I should check myself into a mental institution. Plus on top, NHS says I earn enough to pay for my asthma pumps when really all my money pays towards to live at home, food and my car. And I feel I am weak all the time as I can not seem to say no to certian things. And I try to let go a being a vr manager of a vr radio station but that is a struggle as well. I don't where to begin and where to finish. 

  • life is a struggle for everyone.

    we live struggle have some laughs  then die :)  I looked at your videos and think yes potential. 

    change how u think

    use gratitude : write down what u have achieved eg your videos, learning to drive holding down a job ,,, close your eyes every so often and remenber why u are lucky to be who u are

    dont ruminate about the past and dont worry about your future. Just think about right now.  This is what I have picked up from mindfulness/buddhism and it has calmed me down quite a bit. 

    i would recommend learning about mindfulness and meditation but I am not here to tell u what to do. I think you will do fine without me :) Keep up the good work on YouTube.

    IDEA: do some videos on what it is like to be autistic. This is really useful to people like me. Express ur feelings, ur ups and downs. Its great to share these emotions, feeling and experiences with the world especially other fellow travellers of the spectrum. 

    If you are earning money on YouTube keep doing it ! its fun right :)

  • Hi Chandler, thanks for sharing. For me, a key thing that has helped is developing a daily routine that is supportive, rather than something to be enforced, and sticking to it, for the most part. For example, I try to eat at the same times each day and have a set bed time and waking up time, with at least one day at the weekend to rest completely. A routine is helpful for people on and off the spectrum because daily changes can interfere with your body's natural processes and affect thoughts and moods sometimes in quite big ways. It has also helped me to spot my patterns more easily and recognise when I need to make an adjustment. Wishing you all the best