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Scared of asking for assessment

NAS37073

Hi. I’m 38 married with 3 kids. My youngest child has autism and adhd. I’ve come to realise over time that it’s likely I’m on the spectrum too. I’ve always struggled with certain things and felt like I never fit in all my life and don’t really know how I am as a person. Things started to get more difficult a few years ago and now I’m at the point were I know I need to get some support as I’m at a very low point and have anxiety. My kids are my world and I always make sure their needs are met but as things have been really stressful I’ve ended up sacrificing my own needs is mental and physical health in order to keep things together. Don’t get me wrong my teens are happy, well as happy as teens can be lol but my son isn’t coping with specialist school and no one is listening to me when I tell them it’s not the right school for him. He’s coming home and acting out aggressively which sets my anxiety off and despite having boundaries and firm routines I think he may have PDA as he rebels against things I put in place.  I’ve been put off going to my GP and asking to be referred for assessment as i’m scared people will assume I can’t care for my kids properly and this just isn’t the case. My husband thinks I’m being silly and is pushing me to go and see the GP but i’m really worried. Also, to get an appointment you have to tell the receptionist why you want to see the GP as they triage appointments at my surgery and then phone you back if they can fit you in. One of the receptionists is someone I know from years back who I don’t want to know my business. But I can’t carry on like this. 

Parents

  • Welcome to the forum.

    It's shameful that some people have the attitude that autism might automatically make one an incompetent parent. Since my diagnosis, I've discovered that my Mum is very likely on the spectrum too, and I think it's part of the reason that we were so close, and that she coped with my unidentified autistic traits so wonderfully to give me the best possible start in life. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, as they say, and there's nothing in your post to suggest that you're doing a bad job - it's hardly unusual for parents to need a bit of help with the stress of juggling the demands upon them.

    Given your concerns about your receptionist friend, I have a little suggestion for you. By the sounds of it, you really need a little help anyway to cope with anxiety, for which talking therapies are usually recommended these days. This would normally be dealt with by your GP referring you to the local mental health team, who usually do a "triage" interview to work out what kind of therapy would best suit you. Aside from bypassing any embarrassment booking your appointment, a mental health team worker will likely have more experience of conditions like autism than your GP. In fact, this is how I ended being referred for my autism assessment - I'd received counselling with little success a few times, and when I went for it again, the mental health worker had a hunch what was really going on and wrote to my GP to set the referral process going. This might save you from having to make autism the primary reason for seeing the doctor.

    Best wishes.

Reply

  • Welcome to the forum.

    It's shameful that some people have the attitude that autism might automatically make one an incompetent parent. Since my diagnosis, I've discovered that my Mum is very likely on the spectrum too, and I think it's part of the reason that we were so close, and that she coped with my unidentified autistic traits so wonderfully to give me the best possible start in life. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, as they say, and there's nothing in your post to suggest that you're doing a bad job - it's hardly unusual for parents to need a bit of help with the stress of juggling the demands upon them.

    Given your concerns about your receptionist friend, I have a little suggestion for you. By the sounds of it, you really need a little help anyway to cope with anxiety, for which talking therapies are usually recommended these days. This would normally be dealt with by your GP referring you to the local mental health team, who usually do a "triage" interview to work out what kind of therapy would best suit you. Aside from bypassing any embarrassment booking your appointment, a mental health team worker will likely have more experience of conditions like autism than your GP. In fact, this is how I ended being referred for my autism assessment - I'd received counselling with little success a few times, and when I went for it again, the mental health worker had a hunch what was really going on and wrote to my GP to set the referral process going. This might save you from having to make autism the primary reason for seeing the doctor.

    Best wishes.

Children
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