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Autistic Adult Struggling With Tone of Voice - Coping Strategies Help

NAS61861

Hello Everyone,

I was diagnosed last year with Adult Autism - High Functioning.

I'm sure many of you may experience this in your lives but I am struggling to cope with people's tones when they speak to me, especially my partner. I am finding it extremely difficult to comprehend the way a simple question is being asked, ie How do you spell something, and not taking offence at the tone of the question. I'm taking it very personal and feel put down or put in my place like a little child.

Does anyone know of any coping strategies to help in this regard?

Any help would be much appreciated.

Parents

  • Yeap super tricky... I have this problem too and also the fact that some people's voices unfortunately are like nails on a blackboard to my ears, even if they are generally nice and well meaning. 

    I think because I am aware of my sensitivity to others tone of voice I always reflect and ask myself 'what would their intention be in asking/ saying that'. Again this is tricky as I can rarely sense another person's intentions, however if generally I know that person to be kind and caring by the acts that they do then I will try and use this as a default from which to work out possible intention.

    If there tone is different to their usual tone I will generally ask them if they are OK. As a change in tone might mean they are upset or worried about something and this could be unrelated to me or the present situation. 

    This is all exhausting for me.... But worth the effort for those that I care about. I just need to balance it out with a lot of alone time. 

    Not sure if this is helpful.... I have probably just confused things way more than necessary (which I am also often prone to doing when it comes to social interactions). 

Reply

  • Yeap super tricky... I have this problem too and also the fact that some people's voices unfortunately are like nails on a blackboard to my ears, even if they are generally nice and well meaning. 

    I think because I am aware of my sensitivity to others tone of voice I always reflect and ask myself 'what would their intention be in asking/ saying that'. Again this is tricky as I can rarely sense another person's intentions, however if generally I know that person to be kind and caring by the acts that they do then I will try and use this as a default from which to work out possible intention.

    If there tone is different to their usual tone I will generally ask them if they are OK. As a change in tone might mean they are upset or worried about something and this could be unrelated to me or the present situation. 

    This is all exhausting for me.... But worth the effort for those that I care about. I just need to balance it out with a lot of alone time. 

    Not sure if this is helpful.... I have probably just confused things way more than necessary (which I am also often prone to doing when it comes to social interactions). 

Children
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