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process for diagnosis?

Y

Hi everyone,

I'm 38/F, and after years and years of recurring problems in interactions at work and in personal relationships, and no real diagnosis of anything but intermittent anxiety and depression, lots of therapy, lots of isolation, and another failed relationship due to my 'behaviour', I started looking at asperger symptoms in women (my sister once suggested I was on the spectrum). (*see my list below)

I've made an appointment with my GP to get referrals to get some actual answers and a diagnosis so I can get proper help and support. Feeling pretty alone right now.

Question is - what do I say or ask for when I talk to my GP? Where do people normally get referred to for this and how does it work?

Thanks guys!

-----

* list...

- don’t do social chit chat, small talk, fitting in with social convention, when I do very formulated and awkward, like rehearsed lines, mask, my mind is somewhere else
- always struggled with social groups and dynamics, meta communication, don’t understand how they work, don’t understand or trust their motives, try and keep out of it on the periphery, always ends up failing to integrate somehow
- always felt like I don’t belong anywhere particular, like alien, because of my interests and way of thinking that people do not understand or find weird / intense / too much
- obsession with theories, analysis, everything is a case study and how I manage social confusion, can talk about it at length while losing people, count everything (colours, patterns, steps, objects),
- excellent detail memory when other people do not remember, excellent memory of structure and systems, connecting various fields of knowledge, love systems and categories
- repetitive behaviours: pulling hair, touching individual hairs for texture, touching face; thoughts (counting)
- can be very blunt, direct, because I think direct line to information makes most sense, not think it’s impolite, but perceived as rude or aggressive
- can’t initiate conversations well, like to withdraw from longer social situations
- bad at eye contact, always felt people didn’t like me / trust me because of it
- can seem emotionless and not show reaction to external stuff, shut it out, just be in my head, way to manage external stimuli, can’t deal with too much social demand or noise
- feel very isolated, hard to make and keep friends, always outsider at work despite being nice and competent, people always treat me like I’m weird
- struggle in relationships because of emotional overload, uncertainty, problems with change, emotional meltdowns, anxiety
- struggle to adapt to change in routine, competing demands, or when something that has been set is altered, really upsetting
- staying alone helps manage my own environment without stressors and feel safe, but very isolating
- been to therapy all my life, no difference, most problems related to interpersonal problems in work, friends, relationships
- problems with touch (overly ticklish or painful, intrusive), sounds, smells, can all be too much
- AQ score is 38

Parents

  • Well, I relate to everything on your list. Aged 38 also. The process started from remarkably similar circumstances to what you've described, but in my case the focus was on an adhd assessment. Initiated April 2017...two appointments in Dec 2019 & March 2020. Now further investigation into asd, which I was told will be subject to the same process..so another 18-36 months. 

    I despair. But, in answer to your question, perhaps print the AQ test out, to take along to your gp, along with your above list. Hopefully you'll be in a part of the country that has shorter waiting times, or go private if affordable. My local is London's Maudsley adhd & asd dept. 

    Not a hugely helpful answer, but perhaps my offering will give some comfort. It is so terribly lonely being this different. I've undertaken so so many attempts at lots of things in life, but I have zero naivety and zero masking capability left. Cannot function on the most basic level. I achieved much, as appeared to others, but it has all since vanished. No idea how to move forwards. I am stuck. 

    Last relationship ended after years. I could not handle that ("adjustment disorder" given by consultant psych). All finally fell apart spectacularly aged 35. Still 'recovering' whatever that now means. I had beNerdtter stop there. But well done you for initiating process for yourself. Fire me any questions if helps  

  • in reply to MichSE

    Thanks for sharing and all the context, it's shocking to hear from everyone how long the referral and diagnosis process takes, sorry to hear.

    I've since had my GP appointment and they said they would refer me based on what I told them, so now I'm waiting for the letter for referral from wherever will assess me at some point in the future. In the meantime just reading lots around it and trying to make sense of what might have been there all along and trying to feel less lost.

    Thanks again for sharing.

  • in reply to Y
    • You might find some youtube characters helpful, in your quest of finding yourself..(sure that has already occured to you.)Or they could be highly annoying.. One that comes to mind is Yo Samdy Sam ; a Brit diagnosed in her 30s. She has lots of content on the toob 
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