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In an open relationship with someone but I’m not sure if I want more that that

Rach91

Hello my name is Rachel and I have autism last year I met an amazing guy at a music festival in Oxfordshire that I have grown really fond of. As soon as we met we clicked and got on really well after getting to know him I learnt he had autism as well. When the weekend was over we lost touch and I never thought I’d see him again but I did at another music festival in Oxfordshire and we spent the whole time at the festival together and we exchanged numbers on the last night we slept together because it just felt right. After the festival we kept in touch 5 months later I traveled from swansea to Oxford where he lived and spent the weekend there which was amazing but he told me even though he liked me he doesn’t want to commit to anything even though we slept together again. I really like him and he a good friend but is it right with what we r doing I do want a relationship with him but is it ok to have an open relationship with someone 1st and c how it goes. He doesn’t sleep around with women he not like that he just doesn’t want to make any commitments at the moment 

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  • Rach91 said:
    I really like him and he a good friend but is it right with what we r doing I do want a relationship with him but is it ok to have an open relationship with someone 1st and c how it goes.

    Being that as you describe he does not want to make any commitments at the moment, the open relationship thing does seem to be the most viable option for a potential commitment thing to eventually develop (if it is not already), and in terms of whether it is right or wrong to want that ~ the vast majority of people do in fact very much want the commitment thing. It is after all a natural predisposition involving good sexual and mental health, so a very reasonable thing to desire all in all for most people. This is not to state that being a free spirit involves bad sexual and mental health, just that more precautions have to be taken and just because most people find something agreeable does make it agreeable for everyone.

    I would though suggest not settling for things if you really need more commitment wise, but be careful also not to rush ahead and end up nipping things in the bud or killing things off as the expressions go, being that taking each other for granted and feeling used is a more than regular feature of relationship problems. Take your time with him and let him take his time with you, be each other's friend and consort, and see how that develops and where it goes as you stated perhaps. Maybe you will end up all big and together happily ever after one day, or maybe you have only just started on your way, either way it seems interesting so far with a nice degree of meant to be sort of thing about it meeting twice by happenstance and all that.

    :-)

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  • Rach91 said:
    I really like him and he a good friend but is it right with what we r doing I do want a relationship with him but is it ok to have an open relationship with someone 1st and c how it goes.

    Being that as you describe he does not want to make any commitments at the moment, the open relationship thing does seem to be the most viable option for a potential commitment thing to eventually develop (if it is not already), and in terms of whether it is right or wrong to want that ~ the vast majority of people do in fact very much want the commitment thing. It is after all a natural predisposition involving good sexual and mental health, so a very reasonable thing to desire all in all for most people. This is not to state that being a free spirit involves bad sexual and mental health, just that more precautions have to be taken and just because most people find something agreeable does make it agreeable for everyone.

    I would though suggest not settling for things if you really need more commitment wise, but be careful also not to rush ahead and end up nipping things in the bud or killing things off as the expressions go, being that taking each other for granted and feeling used is a more than regular feature of relationship problems. Take your time with him and let him take his time with you, be each other's friend and consort, and see how that develops and where it goes as you stated perhaps. Maybe you will end up all big and together happily ever after one day, or maybe you have only just started on your way, either way it seems interesting so far with a nice degree of meant to be sort of thing about it meeting twice by happenstance and all that.

    :-)

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  • in reply to Deepthought

    Have fun , enjoy yourself, don’t have long term expectations, see how it goes? He is not next door, so inevitably maintaining this relationship will not be easy, but honesty and openness about your feelings should be good. The query is whether you invest anything in the future? Opportunity and events will dictate that I think . I envy your enjoyment.  It will evolve as ?.........