• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 82 subscribers
  • Views 1507 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Changed attitudes

NAS66081

Hi everyone!

have to be honest, but lately a lot of people, including my mum, has been throwing a lot of emotional boulders at me.

yes mum has hydrocephalus and dyslexia, but does that give her the right to change her attitude towards me?

yes I have traits with her, which I’ve had since I was little that will never change, this morning she had me in tears, then yesterday her neighbor upset me, which has caused multiple meltdowns.

not feeling safe, and feeling quite alone. What do I do? Hate to say it, but the lack of awareness/acceptance here is taking a huge smack down on my MH, finding it very difficult to cope with all these boulders.

chat soon

alexia

Parents

  • Hi alexia. I have a family, particularly a mother who for some strange reason have a massive problem with coming to terms with me being on the spectrum. It really shouldn’t surprise them as it’s something they were told could be a possibility when I was a child. My point is that they chose to ignore it and there is probably some self blame there in them. 

    In relation to your situation, using emotional blackmail and put downs are the worst things people can do to you when you are struggling for acceptance and it is absolutely not acceptable for you to be treated that way. All I could suggest is trying to make her understand what you are going through and how it’s affecting your MH. And if people Can’t accept you for that then that’s their loss. There are a lot of people around, as I have learnt, who get us and can make you feel very safe and accepted. Never feel you can’t be honest with people. 

     

    Hope that makes sense.Blush

  • in reply to Leetom1999

    I’ve tried talking to mum about how her ignorance is affecting me, and all she could say was, “I may not be autistic, but I have problems too that’s greater than yours”, I don’t know how to respond to that, but it really hurt! She’s went down to her charity shop for the afternoon and I’m now scared to even leave the house, in case she’s been talking about me to her colleagues.

  • in reply to NAS66081

    I’ve learnt to ignore the whole “ it’s in your head” argument as it’s really a dangerous ideology. At the end of the day, the only person who knows if your on the spectrum or not is you. It’s a collection of symptoms that affect how you socialise and develop with people. If you struggle, you struggle and her problems are not any greater than yours. 

    Im sure she wouldn’t be talking about you to her colleagues in a derogatory way but even if she did they have no power or control over you. You have identified your problems and that is a great achievement. Are there any friend groups that you could reach out to?

Reply
  • in reply to NAS66081

    I’ve learnt to ignore the whole “ it’s in your head” argument as it’s really a dangerous ideology. At the end of the day, the only person who knows if your on the spectrum or not is you. It’s a collection of symptoms that affect how you socialise and develop with people. If you struggle, you struggle and her problems are not any greater than yours. 

    Im sure she wouldn’t be talking about you to her colleagues in a derogatory way but even if she did they have no power or control over you. You have identified your problems and that is a great achievement. Are there any friend groups that you could reach out to?

Children
No Data