How I become the Enemy just by being me

Honestly I'm in a new job now and although it still upsets me and effects the way I work, 

The thought of Legal action had crossed my mind, but what effect could it have in getting a job in the future if I was to loose my current job.

so not worth the chance of being blacklisted. 

I only feel that this experience of mine should be shared as people who actually believe that they are protected at work by these laws might benefit from at least being cautious of those who give this promise. 

...This is all unfortunate. (not sure whether to vote this up.)

There are/were others upon this Forum who knew a lot about the LAW. All I can suggest is 'suing for "unfair dismissal" ' or something like that. A significant thing written here is:

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my then boss

...So the company sort of has a New "Boss"...? All of this is unfortunate and bad, hopefully someone here can suggest better advice (...e.g. - LEGAL). There are good people out there, and good companies, it is a matter of finding them, and, alas, LUCK (and Law). Keep on with the evidence, though... I apolgise that I still do not know what to say about 'not declaring Autism' primarily, but it does sort out Organisations/Persons more tolerant from those less tolerant. Good Luck, again, "K".

Yeah I do but I can tell you that I called them many time and all they said was write a letter to my employer stating what I thought I needed help with,

it wasn't that much longer I had a nervous breakdown and handed in my resignation.

I had been calling everyone who is supposed to help in these situations and got the same old crap,

I called lexxic because the lady who did my assessment assured me that she would not allow my employer to use the assessment as a stepping stone to fire me and that I was protected by the discrimination act, and when it came to it they said there is nothing they can do only give guidance on reasonable adjustments.

Basically I would never let my employer know I have autism even if they were good and supportive because they could leave and the next boss could be an ass. 

And the company I worked for was a very big bank so I can say that in the end if you don't fit the narrative you get the boot no matter what you think your rights are I still have all the one to one's with written comments from my then boss asking me if I think it's fair on my colleagues that I work there I wasn't supposed to keep it but I did. 

And whenever anyone asked about disclosure to an employer I always tell them what happened and show them my one to one's dated so you can see them daily harassment constantly setting me tasks I've not not been trained on the noting how I've failed in them. 

That all seems really bad! People tormenting you or firing you because they know that you’re autistic is disability discrimination! Do you belong to a union?

Office politics are awful. I couldnt put myself through that again. My last place I worked harder and longer hours than anyone else. Would help everyone out. Nice to everyone even though it was draining and yet they were awful to me. Your stuck with that all day. I'd hide in the toilet for a break. 

I am sorry you feel this way. There was a lot of good dvice, so I won't repeat.
You have the intuition that this way you descend into depression. Maybe you should act on it. Your post gives the impression that you are in a stage of run-away train that can only end in an accident. Maybe there is still time for you to relax, try to take a step back and melax using any technique you can.  Taking a day or two off work and scaling down the confrontations.

You are certainly not the enemy. It is your depression and anxiety that is  colouring things in this shade.

When you are calmer things will look different. 
Try going to your GP and describe your feelings.

A lot of this is all to do with dominance hierarchy and status. By insisting you always say hello first, they put you in an inferior position. By taking your desk they are establishing a territorial claim. It's all very primitive and animalistic but neurotypical people do it all the time. They even do it in organisations which pretend they're about equality!!! All about pushing people up and down the social ladder. Pretty pathetic.

I hate it when people say you don't greet them, when they never do the same. It's a two way process. If they tell you this, then point out they are just the same.

Will do, I think your right I need to know my environment better and keeping a diary would be a help. 

This is exactly why I'm experimenting with going off and doing my own thing.

...This is all just "LIFE" (dealing with Allistic People). We sympathise with You, here so far. You might also need to find something like a Meditation to get You through whenever things are about to become overwhelming.

...But not declaring Autism, I can understand the doing of this yet have no advice to give about it. Sorry... really... (I am just one of those that says that first of all since it would be provoked/found out anyway.) Good Fortune To You, again from Me.

Me again... Thanks in return.

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I try just to stay out of the way and complete my goals, perhaps I should make an effort to say hello in the mornings it's not a bad thing

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I really do try not to draw attention to myself to avoid embarrassment

...Both of these are ME as well! Sometimes it is a great effort just to say "Hello", seriously. Myself, I *do* make a point of a wave or the Peace-sign a lot. But I keep My head and eyes down (like a beaten dog??) if having to pass whom I said before as "Jerks".

I strongly meant what I said before about learning about who is good and who is not. They really do give themselves away, and keeping a Diary might help to deal with when it might turn rather insidious... or maybe I should stop writing now because I am getting too focussed upon 'negatives'...? Learn the Lay Of The Land, including People and Emotions, is all I can keep saying... honest !  Good Fortune!

They took my desk so they could sit and  talk all day with her friend but she spent half the day away from the desk and left all her stuff a mess on top like a tip.

The boss did have a word with the lazy person but I think that's why she's angry with me. 

But I'm going to try not to get upset maybe I will stay positive. 

And no one will help but that's okay because I don't want people to know I'm autistic as it always end in me getting fired or tormented until I quit. 

Thank you both. 

You both are right, normally I just smile and carry on as I never truly feel I know if I'm wrong or right in anything. 

I try just to stay out of the way and complete my goals, perhaps I should make an effort to say hello in the mornings it's not a bad thing.

I really do try not to draw attention to myself to avoid embarrassment last Thursday I was told that the Friday was dress down day to commemorate brexit and we are to wear red white and blue.... So the next day I came in as instructed and I was shocked to see no-one in dress down apparently it was a joke and they didn't expect me not to realise.

So I'm avoiding attention maybe more than I should. 

Sorry to hear this!

I do so hate it when people get upset with me and fail to explain why!

I also hate the expectation to greet various people in certain ways. I’m quite sure that there’s a social rule book that I’ve never seen that sets out exactly how and when you should greet various different people such as colleagues, boss, neighbors etc.

Why has someone taken your desk?

Lazy people are annoying. Has the manager got them to buck their ideas up yet?

Is there anyone at work who could help you with any of this? 

Greetings K... glad to reply to You again. I agree with as RSxo says as well. Just do what You do, and give no-one any reasons to "complain" about You.

If You are curious about certain persons, or if they are *reeeealy* getting You down, You might try simply telling them the reasons for doing so (<> as You write here) --- yet make certain to stay polite and calm. This begins the process of sorting out who is truly a "jerk" and who is truly trying to be nice to You. Good people are worth going out of the way for, to give a "wave" or a Greeting, and from then sharing thoughts or reasons for discomfort (<> as You write here).

...In life, there are persons who are *deliberate* "Jerks"... so when confronted in a polite calm argument, they *will* always reveal themselves, and so a lesson is learnt to not provoke such persons. All in all, just be Yourself, do not get upset (walk away) and keep everything that happens in mind or in a Diary (as if for evidence).

Stay calm, Always be polite/reasonable, be Yourself... and "Don't let the man get you down", as they say... (!) 

Hey :) It sounds like you feel that disappointment quite strongly, I know several people in this position. In life, there are always going to be people that you upset or don't like you - it's natural when so many of us interact each day! Personally, I think it's best if you can learn to go easy on yourself. You're definitely not 'the enemy' - if you are, then so is everyone else, we've all upset people in our lives. Go easy on yourself - apologise where you've made a mistake, ignore when someone is causing a problem for no reason, and break that cycle!x