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Struggling with obssessions and relationships

Rainbowgirl

Hi

Since getting my initial assesment for AS. I have had alot of time think and an aspect of  my life that I really struggle with is obssessions.  When I meet a person who I really like and find we have alot common with each other.  I become very over eager and message them a lot  and end up scaring them away.   This has happen on several occassion in my life when I have try to form a relationship with someone.  I really need some advice as this is really been making me feel really down. 

  • in reply to Rainbowgirl

    Hello Rainbowgirl, I'm light years from being an expert on this subject but I have also been "guilty" of over messaging if that's the right terminology. The other person said I'd sent too many messages, and after stewing on it for a few days I messaged back and apologised for my over-enthusiasm. The other person said it was fine and even partly blamed herself actually - after that all was well and we remained friends. I would say that if your friend had it in their heart to forgive you then there's no reason why you can't be friends with them. Do they know about your condition? Might be worth mentioning it. That's what I would do anyway. I wish you well!

  • in reply to Kitsune

    Hi Kitsune

    Thank you I never thought of this way to deal with it.  The person who messaged alot forgave me for this and said we could wipeslate clean.  However, I still want to remain friends with them because we had alot in common but because it work enviroment  does'nt make it easy because they see me on work collegue basis.  Even though I only volunteer at this work place every other weekk  and I used to work but that finished now.  I am now unsure what do because I like this person? 

  • Hi! Obsessions are a part of autism I’m afraid. It’s easy for us to get attached to people too quickly too. One thing I do when I’m going through a phase of having an overwhelming urge to contact someone, is to engage in diversion behaviour, such as going for a walk or doing an activity of some description to divert the impulsive energy.