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Mother & Son Autistic Traits Advice

Doodles14

Hi there,

I posted on here around 6 months ago asking for advice on behalf of myself as a 40 year old Mum of 2 who susepcted I display many autistic traits.

My GP did not look at my in depth detailed document of my history, my traits and struggles and dismissed me as just being an anxious person, trying to find a reason to blame it on. And that I did not present to him in all my GP visits over the years as autistic,

I was absolutely gutted, and his only lifeline was to refer me for counselling as he believed I have anxiety and depression 

I duly carried out my telephone CBT and now as I explained to them that does not help me with the day to day struggles and I need something more to cover everything, The CBT person agreed to refer me a step up and I am now on a 6 month waiting list. However I cannot help but think that if I see this person and explain why i think I am the way i am and want autism assessment that they will tell me it is not their area or that the GP needs to refer and i will still not get heard.

I have tried hard to act normal and surpress my ways and forced myself into more frequent socialisation, including an evening course which i found really overwhelming and had a meltdown on the first lesson when the finish time was misprinted and it was a longer lesson than expected. I also have got lost in the building each time i have gone to a lesson which has been very embarrassing and made me feel overwhelmed and hard to concentrate, I am now feeling burnt out and feel i need to withdraw for a while so clearly I cannot keep up the facade of appearing normal for long.

Am i going to be wasting my time for 6 months and should I try another GP who will actually read what i have written and take me seriously?

The other issue i have is that I suspect my 7 year old son is on the spectrum. It was manageable but now he is older he has developed facial tics which I don't know if it is his way of stimming or something he cannot control. He has very similar dificulties to me and that is why i have been able to empathise and help him when he gets into meltdowns and cant stop obsessing and talking over one subject.

I went back to my GP yesterday to tell him about my son, and with no problem he said from what i said and the video of him having the tics that i showed him he is happy to look into this further and getting the schools thoughts on him and an assessment. 

I had to say to him, you do realise i came to you with suspicions i have this also, but you thought i was being ridiculous yet I have may of the same struggles as my son, and recognise them which I is why I know so much about how to manage the challenges. 
He said nothing and just nodded.

I am just wondering what to do really, I know what to do with my son but how do i get a GP to refer me?

  • I don't know where in the country you are but in Lancashire a high score on the relevant screening questionnaire essentially gets you funding for an assessment.

    I saw the service that provides diagnoses locally privately and when they said I merited a full assessment, they were able to tell me how to get a referral through my GP on the NHS. Maybe at least speaking to the service which gets the referrals is worth a try.

    Similar to yourself, I suspect at least two of my three boys are autistic. I actually have come to realise that my autism might be the reason why they have a close relationship with me, as I think they I understand them, particularly when they are 'struggling' with things (the way they see it at ages 6 and 5).

  • Hi Doodles14,

    Probably the best option if you're not satisfied with your doctor's response is to ask for a second opinion and see if a different GP will refer you for assessment - https://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/adults.aspx.

    If you follow the link above and take along a copy of the NAS guidance for GPs and NICE guidance on autism recognition and referral and use that to argue your case you may have a better chance, so you might want to take a look at some of the information there.

    Best wishes,
    Ross - mod

  • I too asked for a diagnosis and was offered counselling. I was told by an autistic charity that under the Disability Discrimination Act they have to refer you. I've not been back to the GP yet.