Do we really have no right at a child of our own? Before judging, please read the entire situation

Hello everyone

I've been lucky enough to have a wonderfull partner with autism and being 3y in a very good relationship. We are 30 and 32 y old. I've been (mis?)diagnosed with autism myself according to a mourn proces after a friends of mine died at age of 13. The event made me to disbandon all my friendships in the mourning period and feeling miserabel for years because thinking i was responsible for her death, while it was An unrelated accident because she decided with a friend of hers to go play at the railway... I cut all contacts, couldn't stop grieving, talked about the few hobbies i had... I went to a autistic school for 5 years where i met my wonderful partner. Both were having feelings for eachother but it took is 10y before we were together. Better late than never. ;)

Both my friend and i are capabel of working and living together without issues, the only issues we are having are sometimes rare misunderstandings like all couples have, autistic or not. We talk everything out without losing patience or heated discussion and with Sideways respect to one another.  Sometimes i need to give examples to him to clearify things and he can be straight forward but he can communicate well as soon as you ask what do you Mean exactly.

Because the relationship is very stable and we love eachother very much, we decided over a year we would like to stop anticonception and go for a child as a result of our love.

We know having a child means Financial stability, that's alr been taken into account and calculation. We both have set some agreements and rules like normal parents do. We could provide a housing and a place of love for the child and a family that loves it unconditionally. Also in case we are saving for medical assistance like logoped and kine.

Now are there alot of ppl that are saying absolutely not and that it would be irresponsible to make one....

I can understand non-autistic ppl as Well as autistic ppl very good. My partner has a bit more trouble but he knows the feelings if you explain why a person acts like that. Both my partner and i also have normal intelligence. He has a restricted social life because he isn't feeling the need to meet new ppl, his eye contact is good with familiar People but with strangers he feels a bit at unease. I don't have trouble making eye contact myself.

i wouldnt wish anyone else to spend the rest of my life with since he is so sweet, kind and understanding. And i really see him as the father of our child.

What do you guys think? Is it really irresponsible?

  • NTs churn out rapists, murderers, abusers, bullies, psychopaths and crooks like it was a production line. Have a kid, love them lots and hope for the best like everyone else.

  • There are lots of great parents out there and lots of terrible parents out there. Being autistic doesn't automatically make you a bad parent, just as being neurotypical doesn't automatically make you a good parent.

    If your child(ren) will grow up in a home where they'll be loved and cared for, that's all that matters.

  • You absolutely have the right to have a child and given that you seem to have given this a lot more thought than most people I'd say you are already demonstrating a great approach to being a parent!

    You must remember you also have the right to support for the child and yourselves (not just financial).

    If you bring a child into the world out of love and a genuine desire to have that child you're better than a lot of NTs who just do so 'by accident' or because "it's what you do" or because they were too drunk/drugged not to and their child will be taken into care at birth.

    Find yourself an advocate in your support network and best of luck to you!