Emotions hurt so much...

So, I went to see 'Last Christmas' with my wife & a couple of in-laws...

SiL: "That was a good film - I enjoyed it"

Wife: "Yes, better than I expected from the reviews... what did you think of it N?"

Me: "I'm going to need to go for a run to get over it..."

Them: "????"

It's a sad rom-com, I sat through a lot of it trying not to break down sobbing as the emotion of it was just TOO MUCH!

I don't think watching a film like this is supposed to make you feel like you have someone grabbing you by the throat while they punch you in the stomach... is it?

I feel like there's a deep well of pain trapped inside me and it's constantly on the brink of bursting out if the slightest crack* opens up in the walls I've built around it.

Feeling stuff just hurts so much sometimes. No wonder I have a reputation for being 'cold and heartless', I just can't afford to risk the pain.

No real point to this, just the NTs in my life won't 'get it' however hard they try (bless 'em)...

Gonna strap my running shoes on, 10k of trails should help 'Ease the pain'...

*edited: originally 'c_hink' not 'crack' but clearly NAS thinks this is a racial slur so filtered it to *** FFS! Your censorship is overkill...

Parents
  • I'm intrigued by fellow aspies who have extra intense emotions ... because I, myself, am the total opposite. I'm hyposensitive, rather than hypersensitive, to my emotions to such an extent that I don't feel them at all. I'm VERY alexithymic. So it intrigues me to hear from aspies who have it the opposite way. 

    This means I don't get the pain and distress of intense negative emotions. But I also miss out on happiness, joy, and love, whatever those things are anyways, besides dictionary definitions.

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  • I'm intrigued by fellow aspies who have extra intense emotions ... because I, myself, am the total opposite. I'm hyposensitive, rather than hypersensitive, to my emotions to such an extent that I don't feel them at all. I'm VERY alexithymic. So it intrigues me to hear from aspies who have it the opposite way. 

    This means I don't get the pain and distress of intense negative emotions. But I also miss out on happiness, joy, and love, whatever those things are anyways, besides dictionary definitions.

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