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Emotions hurt so much...

Original Prankster

So, I went to see 'Last Christmas' with my wife & a couple of in-laws...

SiL: "That was a good film - I enjoyed it"

Wife: "Yes, better than I expected from the reviews... what did you think of it N?"

Me: "I'm going to need to go for a run to get over it..."

Them: "????"

It's a sad rom-com, I sat through a lot of it trying not to break down sobbing as the emotion of it was just TOO MUCH!

I don't think watching a film like this is supposed to make you feel like you have someone grabbing you by the throat while they punch you in the stomach... is it?

I feel like there's a deep well of pain trapped inside me and it's constantly on the brink of bursting out if the slightest crack* opens up in the walls I've built around it.

Feeling stuff just hurts so much sometimes. No wonder I have a reputation for being 'cold and heartless', I just can't afford to risk the pain.

No real point to this, just the NTs in my life won't 'get it' however hard they try (bless 'em)...

Gonna strap my running shoes on, 10k of trails should help 'Ease the pain'...

*edited: originally 'c_hink' not 'crack' but clearly NAS thinks this is a racial slur so filtered it to *** FFS! Your censorship is overkill...

Parents

  • Glad Greetings to Neekby from Myself! Sorry if no-one else has replied yet, so this is one from Me, and maybe others better will follow. But if it helps, of course You are not alone. For a change, I can say that Autism does make it a bit more intense, as We take everthing at face value and try to give that back ... i.e. Honesty.

    There are certain films which I watch and they WILL make Me cry, proper tissues needed crying... and most stuff made nowadays is just too awful to watch, so, I watch very little nowadays. It is annoying, though... 

    As soon as I see a film or thing which begins to turn Me towards uncomfortable emotions, then I will stop watching right then and there, just like "a little child who hides behind the sofa"...! I am not ashamed, though, and I simply explain all of it with logic and detail... and then that causes persons to think about the conveyed emotions properly. This current society is a lot towards finding the discomfort of others as entertainment... yet there is recuperation found in the "happy ending"...

    Original Prankster said:
    Feeling stuff just hurts so much sometimes. No wonder I have a reputation for being 'cold and heartless', I just can't afford to risk the pain.

    ...This is a thing which is said about Autistic Persons a lot, and so, in this Thread, You have stated a lot of things explaining themselves, there. Like I said... You are not alone, so I hope this Post is helpful towards that. Just keep all of that in mind - do not worry so much if Allistic Persons (non-autistics) find it "funny". Explain Yourself logically and with authority, and be strengthened by that.

    ...P.S.- Happy New Year!

  • in reply to Disambiguating Cynosure

    Cheers DC... it's nice to know this is 'normal' for us and to have someone understand.

    Have a great festive season!

Reply Children
  • in reply to Disambiguating Cynosure

    Moana - me too

    Watership Down - even the music will get me choked up!

    Frozen - 'Do you want to build a snowman?' CryCry Also, I realised that it's an allegory about autism... just replace 'ability to freeze stuff' with 'autism' and 'boom' there you are...

  • in reply to Original Prankster
    Original Prankster said:
    feel like there's a deep well of pain trapped inside me and it's constantly on the brink of bursting out if the slightest crack* opens up in the walls I've built around it.

    ...This is true for Myself, too, - BUT - I just kind of treat it like an 'extra limb', or something, the way that Actors do. -- E.G. -Some actors can genuinely "cry" on Cue, by thinking about a "sad thing" in their lives. This is opposed to actors who can only "cry" by having drops added into their eyes...

    ...Um, sorry, I am uncertain of what point I am trying to make, here... (!) Maybe that 'sadness is a part of life', or something, but I would not invite it, Thanks...

    Happy New Year/Decade, from Me!

    (P.S. - On Christmas Day TV, I also cried a bit at "Moana", and then at "Finding Dory", I could not believe I did that. For Myself, just like with "Watership Down", I think that it is *Background Music in Full Orchestration*, plus a sad event, that does it for Myself. Also certain Old Movies. It is Sooooooo annoying...!)