Hi,
I've only joined this forum today and so I apologise in advance that this topic most likely will have been discussed already. I would like some advice on some specific issues I have. To give you a bit of background, I am 29 years old and live with my 41 year old partner. I am not formally diagnosed yet, though I am on a waiting list on the NHS and am currently going through the process of getting a private diagnosis.
I have a lot of issues with Christmas, but my main two are these:
1) I feel like I'm putting all of the effort in, and it's extremely frustrating.
To expand a little, I make sure that I have bought my friends (I don't have very many, so it's not exactly hard) Christmas presents, and will have them wrapped and ensure that they have them before Christmas Day, even if it means driving hundreds of miles across the country, which is what I have done this year. Now, I understand that expecting someone else to do the same as this is unrealistic, but surely it's not that hard to put a present in the post, or something? My closest friend actually told me today that she hasn't even wrapped my present yet, and it really makes me feel like she doesn't value our friendship anywhere near as much as I do. How can I overcome this frustration?
2) My parents are coming over for Christmas to the new house that my partner and I have only had for 6 months. They will be staying from the evening of Christmas Eve through to the morning of Boxing day.
My parents (my mum and her sister) don't know that I'm on the waiting list to be diagnosed with ASD. My mum would make it entirely about her by blaming herself and completely ignore my feelings. She would also sabotage any potential diagnosis that I was having in order to make herself feel better. This sounds awful, but I know that this is the case. I love my mother and get on with her extremely well, but she does have a tendency of playing the victim. My mum and aunt are very critical of things, especially cooking (which I actually really enjoy), and I know this will wind me up. My mother also keeps referring to our new house as a hotel, which she means to be affectionate, but frustrates me as it feels like she's taking us for granted. I also want to try and enjoy Christmas with just me and my partner for at least part of the day, but don't know how to go about asking for some time alone. Any advice on how to deal with all of this?
