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Struggling around xmas

NAS64098

December and xmas is always a bad time for me and the struggles are creeping in more and more as it gets closer to the xmas break. I can feel my anxiety ramping up and im dreading it. 

I feel like im pressured to enjoy xmas, get told im too grumpy about it and get people telling me to 'cheer up its xmas' but this is my 2nd year estranged from most of my family, my birthday is very close to xmas and ive grown up with a birthday overshadowed by xmas, theres so much pressure to buy presents and visit people when id rather just stay home, and to add additional stress my doctor has decided to call me in for a complete medication review to look at changing my meds (after 8 months of stability)

Plus all the extra stuff playing on my mind with work issues, counselling appts and applying for an assessment. And im dreading my mum causing issues and mouthing off about me (due to our estrangement), like she did last year

Im starting to feel very worn down by it all and getting very on edge - i cant be the only one who dreads xmas?

How do you cope? 

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  • Hi NAS64098, I have struggled with Christmas since becoming an adult. Like you say, the pressure to buy presents is overwhelming & what I'd really like for Christmas is to be released from my obligations to buy any; that would be a really nice present for me.

    How do I cope? Badly, but it's becoming easier since I realised about my autism and now I have a diagnosis family seem a bit more understanding. I've *finally* (earlier this year) told the remaining three people I was sending cards to (my parents, wife and daughter) that I'm not doing it anymore, at Xmas or on any other calendar date, and I'm getting my parents the same gift every year (a hamper). I ask my wife and daughters what they want and choose from that.

    My wife loves Christmas, and some of it has rubbed off on me, so I do like the decorations and the alcohol & cosyness. But I still want to hibernate at this time of year, don't like going out in the evening or having people round or going to other people's houses for drinks or dinner, and I get stressed if I have obligations on consecutive evenings. I just want a clear calendar to hibernate in at just the time of year when we're all expected to be sociable. Pubs are too noisy, parties likewise are boring because it's too loud for conversation and I don't feel like dancing unless I've been drinking.

    I think I'm allowing myself to be honest with myself and others now, so if I get invited somewhere I will say no and explain that it's not for me if asked. At work, people know about my diagnosis and I'm now a bit physically remote from other people so I get left alone, which is bliss; I've had no peer pressure to go to the awful Xmas meals either canteen or pub this year - hurrah!

Reply

  • Hi NAS64098, I have struggled with Christmas since becoming an adult. Like you say, the pressure to buy presents is overwhelming & what I'd really like for Christmas is to be released from my obligations to buy any; that would be a really nice present for me.

    How do I cope? Badly, but it's becoming easier since I realised about my autism and now I have a diagnosis family seem a bit more understanding. I've *finally* (earlier this year) told the remaining three people I was sending cards to (my parents, wife and daughter) that I'm not doing it anymore, at Xmas or on any other calendar date, and I'm getting my parents the same gift every year (a hamper). I ask my wife and daughters what they want and choose from that.

    My wife loves Christmas, and some of it has rubbed off on me, so I do like the decorations and the alcohol & cosyness. But I still want to hibernate at this time of year, don't like going out in the evening or having people round or going to other people's houses for drinks or dinner, and I get stressed if I have obligations on consecutive evenings. I just want a clear calendar to hibernate in at just the time of year when we're all expected to be sociable. Pubs are too noisy, parties likewise are boring because it's too loud for conversation and I don't feel like dancing unless I've been drinking.

    I think I'm allowing myself to be honest with myself and others now, so if I get invited somewhere I will say no and explain that it's not for me if asked. At work, people know about my diagnosis and I'm now a bit physically remote from other people so I get left alone, which is bliss; I've had no peer pressure to go to the awful Xmas meals either canteen or pub this year - hurrah!

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