Crappy person, serious advice only please.

I’m not trying to convince people I’m a great person, asking how I can improve, I am very bad at making friends and don’t understand their needs and can say awful things that I don’t mean. I have been diagnosed at a very young age with Asperger’s and always the odd one out in school, professionals could never understand me. I was kind when young, always sharing with others and my mum taught me to give to people that have less than me. But when I got older I got colder towards other people. Had a lot of stick with people but saying that even if you have Asperger’s like myself and treat people bad you still need to be called out on it no matter how bad you were treated.

Anyway I made a friend on Reddit and she was in need of friendship and she was lonely, she needed to talk to someone and I through it in her face.

I was talking to her for a few days and all of a sudden She stopped talking to me and did not hear from her for a week, My stupid insecure self-did not take this kindly. She said a few things that have not been appropriate mind, she was a married woman and sending me nudes and saying sexual things. I ignored this and she stopped, I was only interested in being friends and she seemed to accept this. Was this a red flag right here?

Sent her a message on Instagram. This is what I said:

"OK thanks for cutting me out, you wanted to be friends and I give you a chance and this is how you treat me, thanks a lot, you really hurt me. No wonder no one wants to talk to you, thanks a lot. Take care"

I mentioned it on a sub on Reddit that I was losing faith in people. It was not meant as an attack on her but I assume she saw that to and did not like it. I deleted but really the damage is done. She was furious, I really I thought I lost the friendship anyway and had nothing to loose. Stupid mistake, she was busy with her family and what not, she was making out I was using it against her and making out that I thought I was better than her as she sold her body. I had no idea she did but she did say she wanted to work in a brothel in the future (she’s from the US) I am not against this so did not judge her on this.

I tried to apologise and I am really bad at apologies, no luck. I told her along the lines at what I said was wrong and I don’t think I’m better than her it was a bad mistake.

It’s not the first time I done this, I done this with my old neighbour that I wanted to be friends with, I did not here from her in months on end and went loony about it.

My staff doesn’t seem to think I done anything wrong with my old neighbour and they were in the wrong. They seem just to make excuse after excuses for my bull. No one really understand and don’t have anyone to talk to apart from my Social workers and my mum, I really don’t want to bore my mum with this.

On a good note I have made peace with my old neighbour and we talk once in a blue moon but it’s a positive thing, I wish her well to her and her family and what not. (I was told by her friends that she can go without month’s talking to anyone, she suffers with Bipolar so it is partly the issue. She makes bad decisions, my staff seen them online but really not a bad girl and is good at heart)

I told my new staff as much as I could tell about this new incident (It was weekend did not want to bother her too much) and yeah again make excuses for my bs. She said to let it go over my head (she’s a saint and a great social worker so no issue apart from that)

Droning on but I f everything up I really, really want to help people but every time I try I mess it up. I was trying to complement someone on a Facebook group for unstable people. It was a ticking time bomb and was policed on everything you said (it was operated by an ex police offer and he was a drone so yeah) you said something a little upsetting about your issues you had to say "triggered" and post the message in the comments. The group was one of the biggest on Facebook and fucked that up too. I got banned.

But saying all this I don’t really deserve sympathy. I’m bad with people I complain when people don’t give me the time of day and when someone is a little nice to me I poop myself with nerves (Worse with pretty girls, I feel tiny around them as I’m useless with them)

I feel like I’m a lost course myself and can’t have help with it. They don’t seem to offer help so (They just give meds)

Hope it’s understandable what I said, really really want advice. Can it be more then "you will have luck in the future" type of thing. Take care.