Dating

I usually ask what they would prefer to do for the first date and give some suggestions like going a walk (usually in a reasonable quiet public place) or for a coffee or drink. Some first dates that I would personally try to avoid would be the cinema or a meal as I just find it a sort of awkward activity which makes it harder to speak

We’ve decided that going for a walk is best for the first date but I’m waiting for her to be comfortable to do that, I’ve mentioned it a couple of times saying “oh how about Tuesday if you’re free?” And she will say that she will let me know on the day which is fine with me I won’t make other plans if there is a chance to meet her, but then it gets to it and she backs out. I just wish there was something more I could do to make her feel comfortable or confident or whatever she needs to be able to feel

it's really great that you want to help her out but you can't necessarily make her feel differently. if she knows you are happy to go along with whatever makes her feel comfortable that's really good but just be aware that you may never get to the point of meeting up (I hope you do). 

it's really great that you want to help her out but you can't necessarily make her feel differently. if she knows you are happy to go along with whatever makes her feel comfortable that's really good but just be aware that you may never get to the point of meeting up (I hope you do). 

Just wondered if  anyone knows of any good Autistic date sites?As not long out of short term(was ment to be long term,but he dumped me over a mis understanding,and I think he may of blocked me:-(!)

So now feel v lonely,also do not want to be alone for Xmas either.

Yeah I get that, that’s why I just quoted you. She just called it an ‘autie thing’ when she said she had had a rough evening, so I’m obviously very new to all of this and finding things out as I go. Thank you for your help

I should also add that quirks is by no means a universal term - some people would be offended by it as I have found out. I think it's the word that I feel comfortable using to descibe how I'm different. I'm not trying to minimise or trivialise anything. Good luck anyway - you sound very caring.

That’s why I’ve sought help on here I didn’t know where to go to ask my questions, she didn’t want to tell me she is autistic because she didn’t want to put me off which is horrible to even think like that, I have reassured her that it hasn’t changed the way I think/feel about her at all and it just means that I will be as patient as she needs me to be. Obviously where we haven’t met in person I don’t know about her “quirks” as you put it, but I will try my best to just understand and help as much as I can 

good on you. there should probably be some kind of support system/ group for partners of autistic people. I feel really lucky to have found someone who can put up with me and my erm "quirks". I think my diagnosis has helped her understand I'm not deliberately being difficult. 

Yeah I know, I’m just taking it one day at a time with her and I hope that we will eventually get to meet :)