How to deflect people who try to extort information from me?

People ask me questions relating to my uni course, life at home, where my parents are from, do I own my house and have discussions regarding politics and health issues in the staff canteen. They often will ask a question in public regarding something I would consider my business and confidential. My problem is, I don’t know how to deflect them! I know that they’re asking out of nosiness and to fuel their gossips. I now avoid tea breaks and lunches just to avoid sitting with my team. I am given the third degree as to why I’m not taking lunch or tea with them, whereas other people on my team do not get asked such questions when they want to have lunch elsewhere or skip it entirely. Please tell me what works to make all of this stop?

Parents
  • It's not easy - I feel the same way. I'm recently diagnosed after decades of masking and only now do I realise how I played along at this game but never liked it (I knew that part!). Nowadays when people ask me e.g. if I had a good weekend I say things like "I can't remember now!" (which is often true) or "Yes, thanks" (leave off the expected "How about you?"). The trick is to avoid providing hooks for the other person to come back on. It might not do you any good in terms of other people's opinions of you, but it does work (I'm almost past caring now!).

Reply
  • It's not easy - I feel the same way. I'm recently diagnosed after decades of masking and only now do I realise how I played along at this game but never liked it (I knew that part!). Nowadays when people ask me e.g. if I had a good weekend I say things like "I can't remember now!" (which is often true) or "Yes, thanks" (leave off the expected "How about you?"). The trick is to avoid providing hooks for the other person to come back on. It might not do you any good in terms of other people's opinions of you, but it does work (I'm almost past caring now!).

Children
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