I’ve got some ignorant questions about masking.
I know general definition of masking, autistic or non-autistic, suppressing behaviours, feelings, emotions or personality.
But, how do you know if it’s masking? How do you recognise it? I’d like to know if I’m masking or not. I have no idea. It’s confusing.
I know examples of masking : forcing eye contact (I can do it for a second with some people - then I look at the mouth or unfocus my eyes to make my vision blurred - does it count as masking?)
The advice is that autistic shouldn’t mask but then there’s also advice that they should look between people’s eyes to pretend eye contact. Confusing.
I can’t fake small talk because I have no idea what to say and so I tend to kill any conversation almost instantly but a lot of people dislike small talk and say it’s fake so I my guess is that most of them are masking (by forcing themselves to do it)
And masking and manners - aren’t “good manners” in fact masking? If someone uses knife and fork when eating with others because it’s what is expected-but when eating alone uses fork only - is that masking?
If someone says please and thank you just because it’s considered polite and they don’t want to be considered rude but deep down they don’t care about those niceties - is that masking?
What about those situations: I walk around the puddles instead of jumping over them because I don’t want to draw people’s attention (but I do it when nobody’s around)
And I sway sometimes and if there’s music playing I’m doing it in public because I think nobody will notice or pay attention (because I think it looks a bit like dancing) but I try to stop doing it if there’s no music and someone is with me - masking?
And I keep chewing on my clothes when reading at home but not at work (unless I’m alone in the room).
But most of people behave differently in public so maybe it’s nothing that special?
♀️