Selective mutism?

Hi there,

I was diagnosed with ASD at age 21 and I’m finding out more and more about myself and how the world works.

Yesterday, I had a fight with my boyfriend and after we came to terms again, he pointed out that I always go completely mute at some point and it’s like I’m completely ignoring him. Usually when the argument is at its highest.

I told him that it has always been like that. I don’t know why but it has.

It’s like I’m unable to speak all of a sudden. There are so many things I want to say but it’s not coming out of my mouth. Sometimes, I even just stop moving. It’s like I’m frozen and I’m not able to snap out of it.

This doesn’t only happen in fights but also in situations where there are a lot of people around me. I just freeze and I am unable to speak.

Me not being able to speak can take minutes, hours or days to go away. I am usually able to move after the situation calmed down.

Is this selective mutism? And what can I do about this?

Original Prankster over 6 years ago

Yeap... sounds like a good old autistic shutdown... feels kind of like you overload and a fuse blows and you can't move/speak - sometimes I feel like I almost completely dissociate, sounds seem like I'm underwater and vision closes down to a 'tunnel'...

Check out Agony Autie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWwJkCAvpoQ
aidie over 6 years ago in reply to aidie

its best not to fight a shutdown but your boy friend / parents / work colleagues should know about this.

basically

some people freeze in situ even when standing

some ppl freeze but can suddenly run ( eg in front of traffic )

i go into a sleep ( but its not sleep )

a shutdown is triggered by too much stumuli coming in at once, or if you are stressed/emotional. I have read its best not to fight them but rather manage them ie get to a safe place to get through it. for someone caring they should leave you alone ie no shouting touching etc maybe just reassurance they do vary greatly.

watch this its just one example of how it can appear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpXCzkmyvgM

forgot to say,,,, shutdowns are said to be the same as a meltdown except they are an inward expression where a meltdown is outward. They are nt talked about as much but they are around more than you think and for some can be very stressful.
aidie over 6 years ago

this sounds like a shutdown - please see my shutdown collection for several accounts from ppl here

https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/16980/autistic-shutdowns-collection---do-you-experience-these/128707#128707