Hi... I am still waiting for formal diagnosis but I thought I had pretty much concluded that I am autistic..... Autism and autistic people just makes so much sense and NTs really don't make much sense at all....
In my pursuit of trying to work all of this out I decided to look back on some of my old childhood photos for clues (as there aren't any people in my life that could provide objective reflection on me as a child and I have very limited memory of much of my childhood).
When I was looking through them there were some startlingly obvious signs and symptoms of my autism captured... Particularly those taken at birthday parties where I would stand completely rigid with my arms down by my sides not joining in or appearing to show any interaction... However there were also quite a few where I appeared to be joining in and enjoying the activities with others.... This is very confusing.... Was I masking? Was I enjoying it? Am I autistic or not? My partner said he was surprised how non autistic I appeared in the photos and he expected to see something different. This is really challenging I just need to know one way or another and by looking at the photos I have confused myself once again and am now stuck back in the full uncertainty of not knowing.
Just wondering if anyone else has done this and what they saw in their photos?
