So I got diagnosed last year at 32 and even though it has answered a lot of question and explained why I react a certain way to things, I’m finding it very difficult to see the positives of having it.
What I mean by this I don’t seem to have any of the positive/useful sides of aspergers, I don’t have hyper focus, well I do but it’s never directed at anything useful, more like a want to play on my pc, I really want to play on my pc, I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO PLAY MY PC! Lol. Also my memory sucks, like I’m always reading/hearing how fellow aspies have a super subject or special interests that they obsess over and know everything about said subjects and can draw on facts about said subject on demand. I lack this, in fact I find it very hard to retain information, I’ll have to repeat a 5 item long shopping list over and over and over from being told what the items are I need to buy up until paying for them. And this goes with everything, making learning something new very difficult.
I have all the negatives though, the social anxieties, the overthinking/over analysing, procrastinating, avoidance, and the many more that come with the condition and it’s really getting me down and making life very difficult. I want to be more than someone who’s on benefits and struggles with everyday simple tasks like bathing, eating, or even just getting out of bed. I want to add just something to the world, I want an ASPERGERS SUPER SKILL! Instead I have nothing, absolutely nothing!
