Finding it hard to be positive about my aspergers

So I got diagnosed last year at 32 and even though it has answered a lot of question and explained why I react a certain way to things, I’m finding it very difficult to see the positives of having it. 

What I mean by this I don’t seem to have any of the positive/useful sides of aspergers, I don’t have hyper focus, well I do but it’s never directed at anything useful, more like a want to play on my pc, I really want to play on my pc, I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO PLAY MY PC! Lol. Also my memory sucks, like I’m always reading/hearing how fellow aspies have a super subject or special interests that they obsess over and know everything about said subjects and can draw on facts about said subject on demand. I lack this, in fact I find it very hard to retain information, I’ll have to repeat a 5 item long shopping list over and over and over from being told what the items are I need to buy up until paying for them. And this goes with everything, making learning something new very difficult. 

I have all the negatives though, the social anxieties, the overthinking/over analysing, procrastinating, avoidance, and the many more that come with the condition and it’s really getting me down and making life very difficult. I want to be more than someone who’s on benefits and struggles with everyday simple tasks like bathing, eating, or even just getting out of bed. I want to add just something to the world, I want an ASPERGERS SUPER SKILL! Instead I have nothing, absolutely nothing!

Parents
  • I am terrible at shopping lists. Always miss a few things even if I write it down. I'd like to see a person without shopping list challenges.

    Seriously though, words like 'everything' and 'nothing' are too absolute to be real. I don't want to throw platitudes, but when I am depressed, everything is dark and nothing is well. That tells me I am depressed and should take a little step back and treat my nothingness with a pinch of salt.

    We all grow with our challenge and at various points hope it wasn't that hard. I do.

    My daughter has poor memory. What helps is visualising a sequence as you would visualise a storyboard of consecutive images.

    But in the final analysis, you are who you are and you are certainly lovely and lovable and full of good qualities. You depression is playing tricks on you. there isn't a you without your various genetic developmental conditions, so you can't blame your left hand for non perfect handwriting mistakes by your right hand. Don't be hard on yourself, period.

    You are good at reaching out for support, clearly. Keep talking.

Reply
  • I am terrible at shopping lists. Always miss a few things even if I write it down. I'd like to see a person without shopping list challenges.

    Seriously though, words like 'everything' and 'nothing' are too absolute to be real. I don't want to throw platitudes, but when I am depressed, everything is dark and nothing is well. That tells me I am depressed and should take a little step back and treat my nothingness with a pinch of salt.

    We all grow with our challenge and at various points hope it wasn't that hard. I do.

    My daughter has poor memory. What helps is visualising a sequence as you would visualise a storyboard of consecutive images.

    But in the final analysis, you are who you are and you are certainly lovely and lovable and full of good qualities. You depression is playing tricks on you. there isn't a you without your various genetic developmental conditions, so you can't blame your left hand for non perfect handwriting mistakes by your right hand. Don't be hard on yourself, period.

    You are good at reaching out for support, clearly. Keep talking.

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