Published on 12, July, 2020
... she basically said a lot of the symptoms I mentioned are similar to what others experience and I got the sense that she didn't believe that I actually have autism. I tried my best to express everything I go through, though I know I missed a lot out due anxiety and, well, autism - I find it very hard to explain things and yet in order to get help that's what I have to do and the whole thing is very stressful and frustrating. I've also only just realised recently that this is what I have and haven't got to a point where I understand it all and can articulate it yet.
The whole thing made me feel under the spotlight and I felt like I was desperately trying to prove that This is what I experience and This is where I need to be referred to please. It's like I've already questioned myself enough as to whether I actually have this or whether I'm just being melodramatic without feeling more under scrutiny from a doctor too. But then maybe I'm overreacting and it's just that she simply didn't confirm that I'm autistic like I'd wanted, rather than her thinking 'there's no way you're autistic'.
Idk if this makes that much sense at this point. Does anyone else feel like other ppl don't believe/understand them, even professionals? It's basically why I haven't told my family yet because I expect they'll be somehow dismissive.
She also said that the waiting list for an assessment is over a year, which is fine and all, what I expected, but the thing is I need to be applying for some benefits soon because I have no income. Do I have to wait until I'm definitely in some kind of service before I can apply for benefits? Presumably I will need to prove that I'm sick, but if I'm not currently getting any help, how can I do that? I guess I could have a panic attack in front of whoever it is that decides whether you get benefits or not.
I have an assessment in 6 months for some kind of general therapy so that's a little sooner at least.
Any advice/thoughts would be greatly appreciated because I'm feeling a little on my own with this right now.
Wow a year is nothing....over 5 years here! I was told their not putting any more adults through for now :( I myself cant fake stuff like panic attacks, I think it's why I dont get listened to if I'm genuinely Ill. I dont show the dramatic emotion that others do
5 years / never for adults is beyond long - what part of the country is that?
Suffolk. Originally told no services for adults. Then told 5 years or more! I've been told by a couple of professionals I'm more than likely on the spectrum. I should just take it as I am I guess but my brain is pretty much 'I need to know for sure' on most things. I'm feeling so frustrated and cheated. Been through life frustrated and blind not knowing why lifes so hard. No family or friends for support I feel alone. I've started talking to a handful of people but not sure I can trust them or if I can call them friends. Life is hard
Sorry to barge into this convo, I just wanted to share some things that help me when I'm struggling. Idk if they'll help you but it's worth a try.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4os0IxmGv8 videos and books by Eckhart Tolle have helped me a lot over the last few years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ-qsFKdRRs same with videos by Ram Dass. I've been trying out this meditation recently and it seems to send me into a calmer, more focused place.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzCaZQqAs9I this one is maybe more practical by Wim Hof. I've been doing this breathing exercise everyday for the last few months and it really helps me when I'm feeling overwhelmed by things; it calms me down. It's also helped me get through some emotional pain and trauma. I usually end up doing 10 deep breaths twice, then 15 twice (sometimes 20 on the last one) instead of the full 30 or so that he says because it's harder to motivate myself to do it the long way.