Weekend meltdowns

Hi everyone,

My husband has just been diagnosed as ASD and I am really not coping with his behaviour pattern that he is starting to develop. All week he is a normal functioning amusing, guy then Friday night he comes home with a weird look on his face and we (my daughter and I) realise that he is in his alter ego No.2. He goes into a severe mood and is horrible, dismissive, moody, snappy and seems uncoordinated and just plays on his phone reading twitter.

This is starting to happen every weekend and anything we try and do as a family he spoils with his behaviour - which apparently is our fault. I am really at the end of my tether - despite having counselling now with a psychologist he refuses to try and help himself. I have done everything from trying routines to doing all financial stuff - Do I just divorce him as he refuses to try to help himself and certainly does not care enough about us to try.

It is seriously starting to affect my daughter , (10) who would prefer him to go away than upset her.

  • Hi, I'm sorry to read you're having a distressing time at the moment.

    I'm sure some more experienced members can help build up some help and advice for you.

    I'm not sure where to start asking questions but I'm responding because I'm a different person come the weekend. I put it very much down to my set routine in the week- that I will adhere to the same arrangements through five days a week, interacting with people and making sure I can provide a good service the same as the week before. I find it very tiring and as Friday evening comes, I start to meltdown a little. Come Saturday, I'm quite low and not happy at all. Come Sunday, I'm gearing myself up again for the coming week again. I'm sure others on the forum can identify with this?

    I don't have dependants, but I'm wondering if your husband is feeling the same thing. Interesting that it has just started and wonder if the recent diagnosis has something to do with it.

  • If I was in your shoes and had a husband who is happy to hurt me and his daughter I'd leave.

    I'm autistic and I need downtime to cope with the working week but when I was working (now on mat leave) I sat down with my husband and we worked out a plan for how we both get a rest but also meet the needs of the family.

    Like our NT counterparts, there are some autistics who are nice folk and some who aren't. It seems like you've got one of the ones who isn't and isn't willing to change (hugs).