I used to think there was always some way to overcome anything. I was wrong. The UK is an evil country and nobody cares. I've been bullied all my life for being disabled and despite years of requests to the NHS and social services still get no support. I have no friends and have never had a girlriend. I am about to kill myself. When I die. I have only one wish. I want the UK to be recognised as the most backwards country in Europe, the place where people are most cruel because all I've ever known is loneliness and pain.
I care! I also happen to count you as a friend, online or not! Please don't kill yourself! I'd be really upset if you did :-(
Don't kill yourself, Matthew!
You have much more to give! You are a published author. Don't waste your talents like this!
Perhaps you could write another book on your experiences with Autism, and your experience of bullying. I'm sure that many people will want to read it. It would also allow others to understand your feelings, as well as understand what it feels like to be persecuted for no good reason by cretins that don't understand.
Hello LoveOnTheNHS, I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you will be okay. If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support.
If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service: http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/Emergencyandurgentcareservices/Pages/NHS-111.aspx
The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on email@example.com.
MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.
If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support. We wish you all the best.
The police have just been to my flat. As usual, they misunderstand, as people always do. People will never be on my side. It's too much to ask. Ah well, such is life!
What has triggered this current state of feeling suicidal?
It is an issue with autism that way too much thinking and analysis focus on suicide, may result in bad outcomes, but you are stronger than that and can overcome it. I was wondering if we could work together on a book about suicidality in Autism. There is no such book at present and maybe we could do one?? We both have a story to tell. Travis Breeding has done 290 books on autism! Bloody american
My thinking is a need for a focus that is positive and achieveable.
Police are very bad for those of us on the Autistic spectrum; they will misunderstand and then either arrests us or call in emergency medical services despite the fact that both these actions may be humiliating and make matters worse.
I've got to go out in 15 minutes, but will watch out for your messages. We could work together??
You 've had the standard advice, but Samaritans is only a listening service ( but nice people), MIND has useful ideas, but there is no magic answer and your post on here indicates to me that you want to find a way forwards and have not given up (I really hope).
The 999 option and A&E is just about admission decisions, but inevitably there is lots of waiting and shoe laces removed and humiliation.
Are you here still Matthew??
The book idea - maybe. I don't know if I've got it in me to produce anything else. You could probably write it yourself. My health is unreliable, when I wrote the novel some years ago I was a lot less depressed than now.
Yeah, still here. I appreciate what you wrote. At the moment I feel strong emotions.
I can't form connections with people offline. I tried talking to people yesterday and they ignore me or are dismissive. I asked some people if they wanted a walk on the beach. I'm tired of everything being so rigid, in a sense. I feel most people police social situations, they won't just let things be. They have to have this power and control, they can't just speak freely.