*Autistic Shutdowns collection* - Do you experience these ?

I shutdown a lot, sometimes in absolute turmoil inside, sometimes in panic, sometimes just out of total incomprehension at what's happening, and sometimes I'm just zoning out. Others have done much better jobs of describing the process, but to add I shutdown though when good things happen too but that are overwhelming.

In romantic situations when someone makes a move on me I simply can't reciprocate, freeze, go non verbal, and so confuse people, and lose them. I realise now I struggle to read what are the contradictory messages of flirting and that overwhelms me. On a date with someone I like I start to shut down sometimes days before and lose all my playfulness and sparkle. I think it's cos I can't handle not knowing what the outcome will be. Again it sends a disinterested signal.

The best guy I've ever met (I'm gay) made a move on me last year after a year's worth of really intimate friendship. He's clearly on the spectrum too which I guess is why we were so at ease with each other. I froze, for a whole 8-9 hours sharing a bed while awY together, like total total shutdown. Although it was the thing I most wanted I couldn't make sense of what he was doing. It's taken me until now to gain the confidence to tell him I wanted to cuddle him back. Yeah, doh, we were in bed together!

The exact same thing happened at the start of my first relationship, though we did manage to get together a few months later. I am conscious both these may be trauma induced dissociation, rather than related to the everyday type of AS shutdowns I experience.

I can shutdown when someone is really kind towards me, or a nice surprise happens. A lot of my moments of joy seem to get muted.

I'm not sure how often I shutdown, but now I've got a name for it, read some other experiences, I think I'll spot it more and more. I'm pretty sure it's the most debilitating thing about my AS, maybe trumped only by a sense of not being able to truly connect with people.

I shutdown a lot, sometimes in absolute turmoil inside, sometimes in panic, sometimes just out of total incomprehension at what's happening, and sometimes I'm just zoning out. Others have done much better jobs of describing the process, but to add I shutdown though when good things happen too but that are overwhelming.

In romantic situations when someone makes a move on me I simply can't reciprocate, freeze, go non verbal, and so confuse people, and lose them. I realise now I struggle to read what are the contradictory messages of flirting and that overwhelms me. On a date with someone I like I start to shut down sometimes days before and lose all my playfulness and sparkle. I think it's cos I can't handle not knowing what the outcome will be. Again it sends a disinterested signal.

The best guy I've ever met (I'm gay) made a move on me last year after a year's worth of really intimate friendship. He's clearly on the spectrum too which I guess is why we were so at ease with each other. I froze, for a whole 8-9 hours sharing a bed while awY together, like total total shutdown. Although it was the thing I most wanted I couldn't make sense of what he was doing. It's taken me until now to gain the confidence to tell him I wanted to cuddle him back. Yeah, doh, we were in bed together!

The exact same thing happened at the start of my first relationship, though we did manage to get together a few months later. I am conscious both these may be trauma induced dissociation, rather than related to the everyday type of AS shutdowns I experience.

I can shutdown when someone is really kind towards me, or a nice surprise happens. A lot of my moments of joy seem to get muted.

I'm not sure how often I shutdown, but now I've got a name for it, read some other experiences, I think I'll spot it more and more. I'm pretty sure it's the most debilitating thing about my AS, maybe trumped only by a sense of not being able to truly connect with people.

thanks for this big detailed contribution. Yes shutdowns are a major life changing trait. Clearly you suffer from them quite a lot. 

Thanks