*Autistic Shutdowns collection* - Do you experience these ?

I experience shut downs on a daily basis. They most frequently occur in the morning shortly after waking and eating. The morning one is caused by the sheer overwhelming amount of sensory information entering my brain. Light, noise, talking, cooking, eating…. It’s all so chaotic. I usually go back to bed after eating. Even if I wake up full of energy, I will be exhausted within 1-2 hours. I experience intense anxiety and my thoughts seem to just swirl around my head. I feel completely out of control. I lock myself in my room and any noise can set me shaking. If someone knocks on my door unexpectedly it makes me jump. I have installed black out blinds in my room so I can cut out any light and wear ear plugs so I can sleep whenever. Although they are more common in the morning, due to my brain being half asleep I guess, they can occur at any time during the day.

They are incredibly disruptive. I am not capable of anything other than being alone at those times. I had to quit my job a couple of months ago because I simply cannot work through it. I feel like I just come apart at the seams and reduced to a quivering wreck.

They can also be delayed. For instance, I went to a supermarket with my sister a few days ago and I was OK going through and getting all the stuff. But within 10 minutes of getting home it hit me hard and I had to go lie down.

Afterwards I just feel numb. I feel like my body and mind have just been dragged through barbed wire and I’ve been bled dry. I have nothing left to feel other than the relief it’s over.

that was a hard read.

You are really suffering. That sounds like pure torture.  I do not know how you withstand that !  oh my If I was that bad I would have to take medication. Strong medication.  I would try anything ! 

I have to thank you so much for writing this account for others to read and identify with. 

I assume you have been down the GP route and have tried medication. 

I do not think I could function at all, if my shutdowns where that bad! The next time someone says autism isn't a disability I will be thinking of you, and scream at them.

thanks again for this account once again. 

I hope you get some relief from somewhere.

aidie

Thanks for your concern. Most don't understand. I do have regular appointments with my GP and I am currently on Fluoxetine to help negate the depression/anxiety. Just had the dose upped as it wasn't working well. I was on Sertraline but found that just turned me into a zombie sapping any motivation to do anything. It sucks and everyday is a struggle. But like anyone else you've just gota find a way. 

thats ok no one has died

Opps I just replied to an earlier post thinking it was the last in the thread because I am accessing it on my mobile... Sorry

thanks for your account of your shutdowns. I am glad this collection has helped you you've made my day.  don't worry how you come across conversation-wise you are perfectly OK, just like most people here, except you seem to be a bit politer which is nice. 

I am so pleased at the range of accounts here and marvel at the response of the people in this community.

I'm sure we will meet again in the other threads

thanks again for your valuable addition

aidie

thanks for your account of your shutdowns. I am glad this collection has helped you you've made my day.  don't worry how you come across conversation-wise you are perfectly OK, just like most people here, except you seem to be a bit politer which is nice. 

I am so pleased at the range of accounts here and marvel at the response of the people in this community.

I'm sure we will meet again in the other threads

thanks again for your valuable addition

aidie

thats ok no one has died

Opps I just replied to an earlier post thinking it was the last in the thread because I am accessing it on my mobile... Sorry