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Struggling and dont know where to turn

mouse2

I'm really struggling with memories right now and dont know where to go for help. Something happened years ago its complicated but I wasent listened to, plus anxiety, depression etc I thought maybe I was wrong (even though now I'm stronger I know I'm right). I keep replaying stuff over and over in my head. I dont know where to turn. I went to gp for help but just get tablets. I only have my husband. No family or friends as I struggle no matter how hard I try to keep friends. I feel I'm drowning and theres no way out. I asked gp for autism diagnosis as I started seeing similar issues in women with autism blogs etc. But I failed the questionnaire to be put forward and was rejected. They asked things like are you married and I am but I failed to mention the amount of times we've split up but as I have no one else in the world I go back. I've really struggled in life. I feel I've been targeted by people who posed as friends and only when it's too late do I know they used me for something. I cant sleep, eat, it gets too much I breakdown in tears in my room. Just huge sobs then feel better a little while until memories flood in once more. Everything's so loud right now, everything's too much. I need help but dont know how or where

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  • in reply to mouse2
    mouse2 said:
    I just want the world to stop right now

    I used to say this a lot, for me it meant I was overwhelmed and possibly a little bit manic, it would happen when I had too much going on and wasn't coping very well. Unfortunately there is no quick fix for this but you can work through it. I have never found CBT helpful, DBT was what helped me with emotional regulation but a still struggle and have to keep up the practice. I found that before I had any kind of diagnosis when I just wanted every thing to stop I would make it worse by trying too hard, I found that I had to stop trying to make it stop and step back and let it stop, I desperately wanted answers but what I needed was to find calm. Ear plugs and a self imposed time out were where I started, it didn't make it ALL go a way but it gave me some breathing space to build on. 

    If you have have a smartphone you can find apps that help you fined calm, things like the STOPP app or try searching for sensory or fractals in your phones App Store. When I am stressed I love to put on my noise canceling head phones and watch spinning lights on my phone, the relief doesn't last for ever but it does make things stop for just now, you can then use that little bit of head space to expand upon. I used to think that I needed all the answers now so that I could fix myself but what I really needed was for me to start with the little steps. This might not be for you, I can only relay what worked for me, but I hope that helps.  Hugging

    There is a saying about taking it one day at a time - for some of us we have to start with one breath at a time.