Published on 12, July, 2020
My friend was recently diagnosed as being on the Spectrum. He says he constantly put up a mask and tried to act or do things the way people around him expected him to act or expected him to do. After the diagnosis he is struggling to figure out who he is because he feels like his whole life. He has put up a mask. Has anyone else experienced this? In dire need of advice on how to help him figure out who he is and how I can help him.
Yep been there & done that and still discovering things about myself
I was diagnosed in April 2018 aged 61 & yes I certainly became a master at masking and an accomplished liar in order to fit in with those around me. Long before I was diagnosed I had reached a very good level of self acceptance, I knew my strengths & weaknesses and this allowed me to manage my life much better but it was still very difficult because I couldn't fully explain to people why I couldn't or didn't want to do certain things and why some things made me feel stressed or angry.
Having the diagnosis is fantastic it's given me the freedom to be totally honest with people, I feel liberated & don't need to lie or mask my way through life anymore.
My advice would be :- 1st be totally honest with yourself, who you are & what you are, strengths & weakness, likes & dislikes. 2nd be totally honest & up front with people, most will understand the challenges you face and those that don't are just ignorant and not worth wasting time on.
When I tell people about my autism I always make sure I don't just reel off all the negative things about me and like to stress that autistic people are often very talented and have amazing skills, determination, vision, loyalty, honesty etc.
The diagnosis doesn't change who you are but certainly gives you the freedom to be yourself, it does take a certain amount of courage (we all have a desire to fit in) but the sooner you start being honest with yourself & those around you the easier life will become.
Good luck & best wishes for your new much better life.