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Think I may have Aspergers, any benefit from being diagnosed

Brian23

Hi,

I am 41 year old. Looking back at my life, I have to say that I had a lot of struggles. I am now married and got 3 kids and got a good job. However there are still many things that I am struggling with. A few years ago my wife jokingly said that I am very autistic. I have done a few of those online tests and I have scored always quite high but not high enough for them to say that I am actually autistic.

After having had a "few problems" over the last few days and feeling disconnected from the world and totally misunderstood I tried again to find out why I keep having these issues and why I feel the way I feel. I knew about Aspergers for quite a while but never actually looked at the symptoms before, but when I looked at them over the last couple of days I felt like someone has been watching me and written things down. I don't match all symptoms but the ones I feel like I am struggling with are on that list.

I am wondering if trying to get diagnosed would make any difference to me or my family. I can understand that with children it can make a difference especially in school etc but will it make any difference to an adult?

Thanks for any insight.

Brian

Parents

  • Hello Brian,

    If you have been diagnosed, you will be able to explain to your family and they will then be able to understand why you are the way you are. You will be able to explain why you do certain things differently to others.

    Remember, if you are diagnosed, you are a UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL. It is simply a condition that makes you do things differently to others. The majority of the time, having the condition can be an advantage. This is because people that have it tend to do a more thorough job of doing things properly.

    If you are employed, your employer will be obliged to provide you with the appropriate support.

    I hope that this helps.

  • in reply to CaliforniaDreamer95

    Hi, 
    Thanks for your response. My worry is that even if I have a diagnosis, my wife might not really accept this. We have been married for 15 years now and she might just say not to find excuses for my behaviour/actions. My worry isn't based on past experiences or anything and we do have a reasonably good relationship. I am just worried that in her eyes it won't make a difference.

    I don't tend to have problems at my job so I am not sure I would even bring it up with my employer.

Reply
  • in reply to CaliforniaDreamer95

    Hi, 
    Thanks for your response. My worry is that even if I have a diagnosis, my wife might not really accept this. We have been married for 15 years now and she might just say not to find excuses for my behaviour/actions. My worry isn't based on past experiences or anything and we do have a reasonably good relationship. I am just worried that in her eyes it won't make a difference.

    I don't tend to have problems at my job so I am not sure I would even bring it up with my employer.

Children
  • in reply to Brian23

    i dont think it will  to be honest.

    Your wife may take your issues slightly more seriously but everyone reacts differently you are the expert in this case.

    The diagnosis lets you look in the correct place if it starts to get worse ie autism related anxiety increases leading to depression. It is useful if any of ur kids are suspected ASD/ASC ie backup evidence for them.

    the online tests are quite good so they should be saying,  yep u r an aspie/on the spectrum. There's one called the "aspie quiz" search for it and do it (150 questions) . So if they are not indicating that then why bother ?

    here's my score from 2 days ago below.

    BTW in USA there are what is called "the happy Aspie"s who are hard working IT/science  people in big IT/science companies. They go out of their way to not be diagnosed they dont see it as important / relevant. They are responsible for many important ongoing inventions. Companies in USA now seek them out. 

  • in reply to JohnS

    Sorry to hear.

    I don't really know who I am and why I do certain things in certain ways. Reading more about aspergers makes me feel like that is who I am but at the same time that is a "me" that I don't want. And if I don't have the support from my wife, then there isn't really any point even trying to come to terms with who I might be.

  • in reply to Brian23

    Well i have recently been diagnosed with ASC and because I apppear to be "less autistic" than our 21 year old son (who has Aspergers) my wife simply refuses to accept my diagnosis. What can you do? My Psychologist suggested a follow up session with her, but my wife takes the view that she has put up with me for nearly 25 years and so whatever she thinks is irrelevant :)