keeping a routine

For my part routine in eating has been all my life and for some 20 years at work I had exactly the same lunch, which I enjoyed. never thought much about it, but realise now it was my autism. Can you find a diet that you are OK with? 

I love to stick to routines because they make me feel secure, but I've found that I'm not very good at setting those routines for myself (until I moved out of my parents' home, I didn't realise the massive part they'd played in providing routine and structure). Do you think your struggle to eat might be anxiety-related? I don't struggle to eat myself, but I know some people with anxiety who struggle to eat when they're stressed. If it's anxiety, it might be worth seeing if you can get some support with it (e.g. talking therapies). 

Singing stimulates the vagus nerve. 

I too like routine and find it really difficult to change my routine. I prefer to go to work even if I am ill because changing the routine would cause me more distress. In my work however I have to cope with a lot of unpredictability. Over the years I have found that as long as the start and end of my day is predictable I can cope with and accept anything that happens in between, and in fact this is a good thing as it too stops me from becoming obsessive about routine and inflexible. I will typically arrive at work before anyone else, make a cup of tea and turn on a favourite music play list. I will then check my emails and reply to as many as I can and tick any that I need to respond to later. The end of the day is a similar routine. 

There have been two significant and prolonged periods in my life where I restricted and avoided foods which impacted on every aspect of my health. I didn't have the physiological sensations you experience however. For me the trigger was emotional distress and anxiety which I didn't realise until a long time after. I found that doing the things that help to regulate my nervous system and reduce my anxiety really worked... But it took time. I found understanding my sensory profile useful and knowing input that I find alerting and input that I find calming to have been helpful in working out what activities keep my nervous system balanced. I now make sure these are part of my week. Some occupational therapists can help with this. For me I need lots of proprioception (difficult when in conjunction with an eating disorder because of low energy levels and needing to exercise safely) yoga helped and continues to help me. It has also given me a much better relationship with my body in terms of learning to connect with it and look after it. Now that my eating is better also climbing. I know others that benefit from massage, crafts, swimming, baking..etc. It sounds simple but spending time working out what makes you happy I think is really important. Hope this is helpful.... I'm still very much on the journey of discovery and no expert..... 

I like to keep a routine in terms of the activities that I am doing on  day to day basis largely so that I know what I am doing. It's easier for me if my days and weeks are planned out in advance. Then I don't have to sit around, internally flailing around wondering what I should do with myself. I get really thrown if a set routine changes. For example, I had been going to an Autism and SEN tots group with my youngest daughter on a Tuesday but they have now changed the day to  Wednesday, when she's at Nursery, so we can't go anymore. That really threw me a few weeks ago when I found out about the change, in fact it's still bothering me slightly now!

Your wish to alleviate the physical sensations of feeling full and closing throat in order to establish an eating routine, encompasses two elements that are not as disparate as one would initially believe.

Vagus nerve stimulation is used as part of the treatment for eating disorders and some components of executive dysfunction. (It is also used in cases of depression and anxiety.) There is even a ‘Polyvagal Theory of Autism.’

Of course the theory of vagus nerve stimulation involves elements of the central nervous system interacting with neural circuits. Should you wish for fuller account, just ask and I will post one.

There are many ways to stimulate the vagus nerve. Here is a link to one of them.

https://www.awaken.com/2019/09/longer-exhalations-are-an-easy-way-to-hack-your-vagus-nerve/

For me, routines are very much an "auto-pilot" so that I can get essential tasks done without my wonky executive functioning getting in the way. Whenever I have to do a new task, or change how I do one that I know, I can get very stuck in loops of procrastination and "zoning out" which can lead to me wasting huge amounts of time (in turn leading to lots of anxiety). My physical co-ordination also seems to be much worse when I'm having to think my way through a task, so again, having a "muscle memory" to act as an auto-pilot is a huge help.

The downside is that I easily get stuck in ruts. Once a routine is established, it can be very hard for me to break out of it, even when I know that I need to and really want to.

So, for me, not so much a "want" or even an "obsession"; more of a coping mechanism; albeit one which can become dysfunctional if I rely upon it too much.