Published on 12, July, 2020
hi all,
Just want to tell you a bit about myself. I'm 45 years old and always had a feeling something is not right. At school I couldn't deal with large classes of 30 plus and was consistently getting in trouble and ended up being expelled from 2 high schools and banned from all schools in my county. I ended up going to a boarding school with specialist staff and classes of only 5. I found this quite easy to deal with. I have always struggled with big groups of people and have always had a small group of friends. I can't cope with waiting in line for things or crowds.
Work has always been okay of I have a routine and stick to it. Any changes to my routine I struggle and can have what i call mini episodes where I fear the worst case scenarios will happen. About a year ago I got promoted at work to a manager and my routine completely changed. This led to me nearly quitting the job and going back to my comfortable routine. I didn't as I had some really supportive colleagues who have helped me so much. What people have noticed is if I get a task I focus on that and nothing else is important until that is completed. I also obsess with getting things done and hate leaving things. I can be at home stressing about things at work that are not really that important to deal with but my head says they have to be done.
I think when I was young in the 80's I was just classes as a naughty kid and that was it. It's only now some people at work I trust and tell them some of the things I feel say that it may be worth going to a doctor and see what they say. Sorry for the long post at this time of night but I'm starting to threat about it and want to talk to someone.
Hi
I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 42. (10 years ago) I just thought I was different to people around me - they all had a poor work ethic, they were annoyingly incompetent and I was forever dealing with people who couldn't do what they were paid to do - in all walks of life. I was a perfectionist, I could learn to do anything almost instantly and I was good at everything. It had never occurred to me that I was the odd one out. It was only my daughter growing up and me not being able to adapt to her emotional needs and it being suggested by a teacher-friend that prompted me to go for a diagnosis - paid for by the company health insurance.
It's been useful - I now understand why I do what I do and how my strong motivations are based around reducing stress and doing the right thing - however odd it may look to other people.
I have the same feelings at work. If I get tasked with something I have to have all the tiny details as to make sure it's 100%done correctly. If I can't then I can get very stressed. I think it's time that I went to a doctor to see what they think.
I'd have a good look at what Asperger's/autism really means - you would be surprised at the subtle stuff you probably already do that is different to everyone else - there's lots of on-line tests to do too before you see the GP. Good preparation means you won't get rejected at the first hurdle - and even if you get past your GP, it can be an 18 month journey to diagnosis..
I have boiled my Asperger's down to an overwhelming fear of the unknown - things like social events - people are totally unpredictable, undertaking work where the answer is uncertain, dealing with subcontractors, details around travelling etc. etc. If I cannot 100% guarantee the output, it will cause me stress until I can engineer a solution. That solution often involves me being unable to delegate so I overload myself. All in a vain attempt to reduce the stress of the unknown. I am also compelled to do the right thing - whatever that may defined as. It causes me unlimited anxiety trying to solve every problem simultaneously - and as life goes on, the matrix of problems that need solving gets exponentially bigger - until we burn out.
NAS main site "the process"
https://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/adults.aspx
"Some diagnostic teams accept self-referrals, but in most areas, you will need a referral from your GP. If you are seeing a different health professional for other reasons (for example, a psychologist if you have depression), you could ask them for a referral instead."
here it is
https://thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk/2014/05/18/getting-asd-diagnosis-adult-uk/
first thing is to get a list of why u thing u are on the spectrum and list all members of family with ASD dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety depression and those u think are on the spectrum eg parents
yea I agree but just a bit curious. about to send the plan i followed.
GPs are often resistant to adult diagnosis - taking the results of those tests along to the appointment will help convince the GP that your serious and that the results indicate a probable positive result.
why do u wnat an online test ?
u are probably on the spectrum. You have very similar traits to me. do you think you want to go for an adult diagnosis ? by the way it ( dignosis ) is important ,the anxiety associated with ASD can lead to depression if left to keep growing. I feel so much better after my diagnosis I feel more settled.
I'm a bit out of touch with the current tests to do - I would hope that others will add to this thread later with some direction for you.
Have a look through the forum topics - I'm sure you'll start to see some parallels with your situation which will start to pad out your eventual chat with your GP - take the results of any tests you do with you to push your case - lots of GPs aren't interested in adult diagnosis as there's very little support afterwards anyway - but it can be useful in the work environment to get some adjustments that allow you to work better and to understand why you do what you do to put measures in place to protect yourself from burnout.
I completely get what you are saying as at work I am the same. Do you recommend any online tests to do?