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Talking a lot about Autisim

Fluffy

I am new to the Autism  Forum I am 64 years old  and was diagnosed 10 years ago with Higher  Functioning Autism  (it used to be named Aspergers Syndrome but  the name has been changed  after recent news came to light about Dr Hans Aspergers)   I would like to know if anyone else is like this. I have a close circle of friends who accept me as I am, but I lost one friend some time ago because she could not take me speaking about the Spectrum, a lot of the time or Emailing her information which was just to help her understand about the Spectrum,and why I did or said things the way I did. I was never rude or nasty though. Welll she  sent me an Email,, that said I would grow old and be very lonely and have no friends. I took that to mean cause I spoke about Autism, a lot. And someone else told me that was true.I just wonder does anyone else relate to this? Sorry to have  gone on a lot please forgive me.

Helena

Parents

  • Welcome to the forum.

    It seems to be quite a common thing, especially for us late-diagnosed folks, for autism to become something of a "special interest", and I think that's perfectly natural. For the most part, we're cast adrift after diagnosis, left to seek out our own explanations and coping strategies. And we're often acutely aware of the misconceptions about autism, because for many of us, it was our diagnosis which shattered our own belief in those same misconceptions

    Other people might be able to discern some of our behaviours which are influenced by autism, but they cannot possibly understand how profound our inner world differs, nor how profound it can be for us to discover a whole new perspective from which to reflect upon our lives. Maybe we sometimes get a little too keen to share our new insights; but what person doesn't like to share their epiphanies with other people? It's not our fault that autism is so pervasive that there's barely a subject of conversation which can't be at least tangentially connected to it. I do get self-conscious sometimes that I bring autism into the conversation a little too often, but I try to remind myself of all those times I was bored to tears listening to people talk about the trappings of their lives in ways which were meaningless to me (I have never had a car, mortgage, wife, child, or favourite football team!) It can pay to remind people sometimes of just how tolerant I have to be about their pet subjects!

    This person's reaction suggests that their commitment to the friendship was quite superficial anyway, so I doubt that you have lost very much in the long run. There might be any number of reasons for their reaction - some people perceive the slightest openness about autism as special pleading, others have been hurt in the past by people who were autistic, and whether deserved or not, blame this entirely on autism. There are even websites dedicated to warning people away from us! More often, I think people are just a bit embarrassed that we're talking about a subject that they don't know enough about to be able to comment.

    I'm glad to hear that you do have a circle of friends who accept you for who you are; I am fortunate that I do to. And I'm sure that you will be just as accepted here.

    Best wishes.

Reply

  • Welcome to the forum.

    It seems to be quite a common thing, especially for us late-diagnosed folks, for autism to become something of a "special interest", and I think that's perfectly natural. For the most part, we're cast adrift after diagnosis, left to seek out our own explanations and coping strategies. And we're often acutely aware of the misconceptions about autism, because for many of us, it was our diagnosis which shattered our own belief in those same misconceptions

    Other people might be able to discern some of our behaviours which are influenced by autism, but they cannot possibly understand how profound our inner world differs, nor how profound it can be for us to discover a whole new perspective from which to reflect upon our lives. Maybe we sometimes get a little too keen to share our new insights; but what person doesn't like to share their epiphanies with other people? It's not our fault that autism is so pervasive that there's barely a subject of conversation which can't be at least tangentially connected to it. I do get self-conscious sometimes that I bring autism into the conversation a little too often, but I try to remind myself of all those times I was bored to tears listening to people talk about the trappings of their lives in ways which were meaningless to me (I have never had a car, mortgage, wife, child, or favourite football team!) It can pay to remind people sometimes of just how tolerant I have to be about their pet subjects!

    This person's reaction suggests that their commitment to the friendship was quite superficial anyway, so I doubt that you have lost very much in the long run. There might be any number of reasons for their reaction - some people perceive the slightest openness about autism as special pleading, others have been hurt in the past by people who were autistic, and whether deserved or not, blame this entirely on autism. There are even websites dedicated to warning people away from us! More often, I think people are just a bit embarrassed that we're talking about a subject that they don't know enough about to be able to comment.

    I'm glad to hear that you do have a circle of friends who accept you for who you are; I am fortunate that I do to. And I'm sure that you will be just as accepted here.

    Best wishes.

Children