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Supported by the people close to me.

TheArcher

Hello, I am an adult living with high functioning autisim I was diagnosed when I was 7.
I am now 27, living with my mum, who has helped me with everything in life. I guess now that I'm becoming more independent in some things.
I feel I'm not being supported by my family with my aspirations in life. The major one is learning to drive.
But as I have said my mum has helped me with everything major in life. As and now I feel I cant move forward because she will have to
Go through it with me. And she is just tired now. I need her help but I dont want to
Force her through this process of me learning to drive.
I'm ready and eager I'm 27! She is in her 50's and tired now and it is understandable.

I have talked to her about what I want to pursue in life.
But it either goes into a argument or she doesn't say anything.

I am very grateful for having a mum like my mum in my life I would be lost honestly.I just need her acknowledgement
Even just to say "yes I will help you when it comes to it"

  • in reply to TheArcher

    How frustrating that none of your local ones are geared up for people with LD. It sounds like maybe your Mum is a bit scared about you driving as she doesn't want you to get hurt. The driver always has dual controls so they could always slam on the breaks if needed, but also they always start somewhere very quiet and safe until you're ready to move up.

    Hope you find an appropriate instructor.

  • in reply to TheArcher

    They also give lessons to nervous drivers - not just those under 17 - find your local one and have a talk with them about your requirements - they will either do it or probably know someone else that does.    The instructor with the understanding of people with disabilities may be good too.

  • in reply to Plastic

    I like the sound of getting familiar with the whole process of driving in a car park or something then slowly ease in to normal driving. But I'm not actually under 16 I'm 27. Also another big thing for me is that there seems to be know one in my area who teaches people with disabilities how to drive. 

  • in reply to Fraiselongue

    I have looked up local driving schools specifically for young people with learning disabilities. The one I found is in Belfast they also teach theory as well. I did mention that one to my mum but it turned into an argument. "How would I get there"? "Not everyone drives". 

    I think she would be up for it if it was closer to home. 

  • Have you looked at those driving schools for underage 16-year olds where you get to drive the car on an old aerodrome or car park somewhere?   It can be easier to have a couple of lessons like that without any other road traffic to familiarise yourself with the operation of a car before throwing yourself into the normal road traffic situation.

    The usually offer lessons to people too young to drive on the road so they can take their driving test on their 17th birthday - but I'm sure if you talk to them they would be happy to get you started in that low-stress environment.

    Once you have the confidence in your abilities, then book up some lessons with normal driving instructors.

  • in reply to TheArcher

    Ah okay. Do you think you could do the first step yourself and show how eager you are? If you researched local schools, read reviews etc? The hardest bit for me was finding an instructor I felt comfortable with and having the guts to be honest and say "no, this isn't going to work". I'm wondering if you book a trial lesson, that will show your Mum you are committed...and then she'll have to support you! Grin

    You can also come here too. I remember having an awful instructor who made me sweat with nerves but I couldn't find anyone else on driving websites who felt like me.

    I should add that I never passed. I never felt 100% safe or in control of the car (probably executive function issues) but I started quite late in life and that's not to say that you won't be great at it. It can be really fun.

  • in reply to Fraiselongue

    Thanks for the reply..

    Help as in starting the process. (How to go about it?)

    Acknowledge it really. As you said emotional support before and after. 

  • By help do you mean actually teaching you to drive or paying for lessons? Or emotional support before and after?