Art

Without a doubt, music has often succeeded in inspiring my strongest emotional moments. it has to be said those emotions are stronger than if (say) a bereavement happened in the family. This is no exaggeration. It's not that I don't feel emotion at such family events, but that the emotion does not emerge so suddenly, forcefully and spontaneously as it does with music. I would add that the sort of music that does this for me was probably created by musicians who were experiencing being in a flow state at the time of recording or performance.

A professional musician and former colleague recently explained to me the feeling of creating music while being in a flow state, and how it was often synchronized between players on the same stage or in the same studio. This came as no great surprise to me, as I have observed stage and studio musicians whilst acting in a support capacity. Frequently, I would drop into flow just watching. By making that comment, my former colleague effectively communicated to me that he had some understanding of my self-identification. He almost self-identified himself, when young. But, he has had a successful musical career, and I imagine that success was enough for him to forego diagnosis.

My father could be considered as a semi-pro musician. In one of the more striking 'family' poems, the author described my father as a person easily lost to the rest of his family by his total absorption in music. I first heard that poem decades ago, before he was diagnosed with dementia. Even on first hearing, it struck a very strong chord with me. The author obviously felt cheated by that absorption, and I suppose I might also have been cheated of something in a similar fashion. He was often a rather unemotional person. I have obviously inherited some of that. Others in the family haven't. They can at least now probably appreciate some of my issues, but the author is still perhaps unaware of them.  But as the author continues to occasionally read that poem in my presence, one wonders if the author is actually observing my reactions for some slight flicker of unmasked emotion. The author has always emoted strongly in poetry.

Yes, music is the one area where I frequently connect emotionally, I've tried to leave it separate from visual art as I feel it's simply more direct - or maybe I feel that way only becasue I do 'get' it! Often it can be as much from the sounds as much the lyrics, it's been particularly interesting for me reading about sensory issues with hearing/understanding voices, that explains why I've always found lyrics so much harder to figure out than everyone else, especially if they're not clearly enunciated. I've struggled to recognise some of my favourite songs live, because even if the music is the loudest thing my brain can't separate it from the surrounding croud noise!

Most lyrics AND all second languages are extremely difficult for me to hear. Even though i really get off on the lyrics, and even enjoy misheard lyrics. Even with languages I truly enjoy; such as Welsh. Especially difficult in my current country of residence, which has a tonal language. (The different script is easy by comparison.) Like you, i seem to find it difficult to separate units of heard language, especially in this very noisy country. Too many competing stimuli! Overload! Meltdowns, in the past! (But very occasionally now.)

nice summary of whats wrong in society

Oh my goodness, I've had so many converstations about this lately! (The urgency of everything online thing). A 22-year-old friend is constantly apologetic if she doesn't see a message for ten whole minutes... I've had to keep reassuring her that I don't take it personally! And neither will anyone else who cares about her welfare. We've now agreed to respond to each other's messages only when we're ready to, I'm waiting to hear back from her about coffee next week, it's been three days... *shrugs*, if she gets back to me in time we'll go, if not we'll reschedule. It's really not the end of the world as the most important thing is to keep her anxiety down! Sorry that went off into a bit of a sideline rant there. But basically yes, as much as I love my smartphone and the connectivity it gives me, I agree most people don't appreciate taking time over things!

Your house sounds like my idea of hell, in the right mood I love to be out and about among people, surrounded by noise and colour and LIFE... but knowing I have a quiet place to retreat to afterwards is essential to enjoying that! Is there any way you could get a room in your house soundproofed?!? 

I am constantly bombarded by noise here. Locals do complain, so it's not just me. Not really surprising then that the meltdowns have decreased in public. But I reckon the meltdowns now happen more at home with the family That is often because I think they are just not listening properly. Part of that is probably because they are also affected by the noisy environment, but their chosen way to deal with it is to become noisier and more obstinately vocal themselves. Part of it might also be because cellphone use and social media use are at epidemic proportions. Concentration levels are abysmal. My approach to that is to slow down and work on one thing at a time very deliberately. That makes life more relaxing, and means I don't have to be depressed. But the extreme urgency of their online addiction leads them to think that my approach is totally irrelevant.

I am constantly bombarded by noise here. Locals do complain, so it's not just me. Not really surprising then that the meltdowns have decreased in public. But I reckon the meltdowns now happen more at home with the family That is often because I think they are just not listening properly. Part of that is probably because they are also affected by the noisy environment, but their chosen way to deal with it is to become noisier and more obstinately vocal themselves. Part of it might also be because cellphone use and social media use are at epidemic proportions. Concentration levels are abysmal. My approach to that is to slow down and work on one thing at a time very deliberately. That makes life more relaxing, and means I don't have to be depressed. But the extreme urgency of their online addiction leads them to think that my approach is totally irrelevant.

nice summary of whats wrong in society

Oh my goodness, I've had so many converstations about this lately! (The urgency of everything online thing). A 22-year-old friend is constantly apologetic if she doesn't see a message for ten whole minutes... I've had to keep reassuring her that I don't take it personally! And neither will anyone else who cares about her welfare. We've now agreed to respond to each other's messages only when we're ready to, I'm waiting to hear back from her about coffee next week, it's been three days... *shrugs*, if she gets back to me in time we'll go, if not we'll reschedule. It's really not the end of the world as the most important thing is to keep her anxiety down! Sorry that went off into a bit of a sideline rant there. But basically yes, as much as I love my smartphone and the connectivity it gives me, I agree most people don't appreciate taking time over things!

Your house sounds like my idea of hell, in the right mood I love to be out and about among people, surrounded by noise and colour and LIFE... but knowing I have a quiet place to retreat to afterwards is essential to enjoying that! Is there any way you could get a room in your house soundproofed?!?