Firstly, apologies, as I'm sure this has been said 4000 times before. I'm at week one of being diagnosed and really exploring autism as part of me for the first time so everything feels like an epiphany to me. 
I've realised that for me, every social interaction feels like a job interview.
Everyone is looking at me, judging me, assessing my eye contact and fiddling, evaluating every word I say and how I say it, and deciding whether I pass or fail.
The anxiety NT people have in a job interview is my experience of every interaction. Suddenly it makes perfect sense that I have suffered with MH problems since a very young age.
Since being very young the verbal and non verbal communication I received from family, teachers, other children, was "You are not acceptable. You do not pass. You will have to change who you are".
From this, so many other situations now make perfect sense.
