I am mid 30s female, self-recognised as being somewhere on the spectrum. I have just been watching 70s Rock&Roll on BBC4. Some of the bands I would deem not authentic (they seemed a bit "jump on the bandwagon" compared to other bands who you could tell were really feeling the music in their bodies) and this got me thinking... I've always loved music from an early age. I think what stood out for me at the age of around 12 was "authenticity" within artists. I hated bands miming on top of the pops, I was quite clear my tastes were on "real music" and musicians who could actually play and write their own songs. While I'm of the impression these days it's how music makes you feel rather than anything else, I still need the musicians I listen to to be authentic. I dislike most modern artists as I feel they aren't authentic....there's a hidden agenda under the guise of a passion for music. So it's got me thinking about other areas of my life. I can't be doing with people themselves who are not authentic. It's really important the people I work with have integrity. (They do). I feel it's difficult to respect others who don't have this and I've always felt I've been able to "see through" people. In one job, most people didnt like one of the senior managers....she was seen as too straight talking but I loved this "what you see is what you get" and had a lot if respect for her and she for me. When growing up, one of my friends got into certain music but I felt it was just so she could fit in with her peer group. I couldn't take her seriously about it. She ended up liking the same stuff as me but not because I got her into it but because there were other people she wanted to impress and fit in with. To me, if she liked it, she would have got into it from when I introduced her to it. I've always been happy just doing my own thing. What do other people think about their experiences of authenticity/integrity? Can you see straight through people too?
i agree with everything you have just said, and i do the same thing. But there is a cost I couldn't maintain friendships. I am now trying to change ( mindfulness living + Buddhism) to be more tolerate and forgiving. Just saying be careful you don't go to far as I did.
Sometimes, it seems I can see thru' people quite a lot.This is perhaps a positive result of my realisation of my own vulnerability at quite a young age. I find I have to constantly update myself to make sure that I'm not perceived as an easy target for exploitation. My social life and career have definitely suffered because I am constantly on guard. My constant caution has probably long been perceived as a highly-critical attitude by the people who I really needed to get along with to be seen as a sociable person, and capable of taking heavy responsibility at work.
I completely agree (about the music artists and people in general). One thing I can't stand about my job is office politics. Why can't people just be straightforward? I can only trust people if I feel they're honest and act with integrity - if they show signs of being fake or dishonest, I really struggle to get along with them (I'll be civil because manners are important to me, but they're not someone I want as a friend).
I completely agree DuckBread. I struggle to get along with people who are disineguous and to respect anyone like that in the workplace. I'm lucky in my job that I don't have opportunity to get involved in office politics but I don't think there are many. Everyone is very open and supportive. In other jobs though I found it difficult to take them seriously and had much less respect for them.
Probably because I feel my openness gains respect I expect others to be the same.
That's good to hear - hopefully I'll find a less political workplace at some point in the future! It's hard to understand dishonesty when openness comes so naturally.