Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. This is my second post. I am in my late 40s and realised a few months ago that I am Autistic. I am not sure if I will seek a diagnosis as I’m not sure it will help in any way. Having realised, my first response was relief but I have also been dealing with a little grief when thinking about how I could have been kinder to myself through my life and perhaps sought help for areas in which I have difficulties. Occasionally I have even been having sudden moments of almost excitement in the realisation that I can be myself now. I haven’t felt myself in so very long. Just recently however I have found that I am not coping with things that I do struggle with as well as I usually do. Stuff like noise and people talking to me when I am needing time alone or people upsetting my plans ( even stupid domestic ones like what order to sweep and vacuum in - my poor husband). Has anyone else dealt with this on diagnosis/ realisation? Am I letting my guard down because I’ve realised what I have been doing and I’m sick of it? Am I just letting go because I need to? Or am I just being selfish. Am I over analysing? Thanks
Hi, I'm in a similar situation - have known for a long time that there was a chance I might be autistic, but managing as an independent adult meant no one took me seriously when I tried to talk about it. At nearly 30 I have finally convinced someone to listen to me, conveniently this person works for the library so helped by borrowing some books for me. As I read about all the sensory issues (my only previous knowledge of these being tv documentaries of kids having meltdowns in shopping centers, and I've never experienced anything that severe), I realised that a lot of my strong likes and dislikes of very specific things, and unusual reactions to situations, are probably related to this. Directly afterwards I started experiencing some of them stronger than ever - instead of just struggling with people wearing too much perfume, I felt uncomfortable near anyone wearing perfume at all, for example - my theory is that our brains have been compressing certain traits in order to appear normal, and when we begin to accept the reasons behind them it stops doing that. So yes, I think it is part of the realisation that these things are part of you, and are ok, and there will be a process of learning to cope without denying who you are. Your husband will learn to cope, too!
thankyou. It’s interesting that it all comes out once we recognise it.