The Friends Contradiction

Another contradiction that I'm battling with:

I'm 95% deliriously happy to realise that I've never understood friendship, don't particularly need friends, love solitude & peace & quiet, & I'm relieved that people are leaving me alone, especially at work. But 5% of me feels that I'm now in solitary confinement and that this can't be a good thing in excess - but as soon as I meet someone I wish I hadn't and can feel the exhaustion building.

I was asked in my ADOS if I ever get lonely & I said no, but sometimes I thing that asking me if I ever get lonely is like asking a fish if it ever gets tired wings; the apparatus for processing the question simply isn't there.

Parents
  • I can get lonely but not in the sense most people do. I don't get lonely in my own company or with a very few trusted people but I do get lonely in a large group or crowd as it reminds me that I am different.

Reply
  • I can get lonely but not in the sense most people do. I don't get lonely in my own company or with a very few trusted people but I do get lonely in a large group or crowd as it reminds me that I am different.

Children
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