Published on 12, July, 2020
In protest against the neglect and discrimination society shows me I'm growing a long beard.
My story is not an uncommon one in some respects. As a child I was emotionally abused by my father and I had nowhere else to go. Due to my Autism I was, of course, in a more difficult position than some would be. In the culmination to years of being controlled and emotionally terrorised, I was chased out of my parents' house by my dad who had a knife in his hand and was screaming at me.
Years later I live alone in a flat but cannot get a support worker, despite repeat requests to GPs. I've attempted to arrange for a support worker to work for me, in a self-employed basis, (for which I'd pay all the funds directly myself) through my own advertisements I've placed but can't find anyone that way either.
I can't cope doing things on my own and have told professionals this many times. I've been in 4 psychiatric wards, detained against my will. Now I'm 32, no friends in my local area, no prospects.
My beard is already longer than it's ever been after 2 weeks of unshaven growth. I'm not going to be trimming it so will let it grow out naturally and freely.
The misery in my life IS SO PRESENT tonight. My father is being a NASTY PIECE OF WORK at my parents' house where I'm staying. At my flat my neighbour is a NASTY PIECE OF WORK too. THERE'S NOWHERE TO GO. I'm being PUSHED TO THE EDGE. I've been emotionally abused and not fed properly in MENTAL HOSPITALS, those are not a safe haven. I've occasionally slept out for the night to escape, and struggled IN THE COLD.
HOW MANY TIMES CAN A MAN TURN HIS HEAD AND PRETEND THAT HE JUST DOESN'T SEE? THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND, IS BLOWING IN THE WIND.
I’m really sorry that things are so bad for you right now! What is your father doing? Is there anyone that you can talk with about all of this? I’ll be up for the next 30-40 minutes so feel free to PM me.
I’m glad he isn’t violent anymore but rudeness and nastiness is still difficult to deal with!
Maybe see if you can get a good pair of noise cancelling headphones, they might help!
Yeah some people of that generation can be quite intolerant of anything vaguely alternative or out of the ordinary. Two of my uncles can be the same.
He isn't physically violent anymore, just rude and nasty at times.
I'm not sure whether his ex-wife needed skin grafts.
I don't like ear plugs as they tend to fall out but I will try headphones in the future.
Well the thing with my dad in part may be that he's from the generation that grew up during the 2nd World War years so they were all on rationing and the culture then was very standardized and conformist. Everyone was told what to do by the government and for the kids, they must have picked up that you all did the same thing, to an extent. So I think that's part of why he's so mainstream in all his interests, like he loves all sports but is cynical about almost anything alternative to traditional British culture, whether it's yoga or vegetarianism, or homosexuality or Indian food.
Thanks, I will reply tomorrow when child free! Have you tried ear plugs/headphones to block out the noise that your dad makes? Is he ASD too?
You're an adult, it's up to you what interests you keep!
It does seem quite mean to throw out your half brother. Throwing a kettle of boiling water over someone is very dangerous, ws she seriously hurt? I'm guessing she had sever burns and needed skin grafts etc?
That's bad to hit you and chase you around the house with a knife! Is he still aggressive now?
Thanks, I PMed you.
My dad is very loud and intrusive. He will bang doors frequently, stamp on the floor, move around a lot, come up to people randomly and start talking AT them, not with them, and also demand full attention and interest, and exactly the response he wants. Controlling.
Also judges me for my interests, and doesn't accept me as I am.
He threw out my half-brother for being gay some years ago, and granted, people were more homophobic in the 1980s but I still think that says something about his character to have done that. Also that he threw a kettle of boiling water over an ex-wife, who, granted, was manipulative and cruel to him, but nevertheless that's quite extreme.
He hit me when I stopped going to school. I also saw him hit my mum once and she claims he never did, she also claims she has no memory of him chasing me out of the house with a knife. It's a mad world!