Childhood trauma and autism

That's understandable. I'm still waiting for my diagnosis, but that's all part of trying to get to know myself better.

i appreciate your words. since i’ve been diagnosed, i’ve had to take a step back and understand myself before expecting anybody else to.

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through a difficult time. I found it very difficult to trust people for a long time (aside from my close family), but I've been lucky to find a partner who I can trust wholeheartedly.

I know it's hard to see it when you've been badly hurt, but there are good people out there. You just have to find the right people you're willing to open up to - whether that's new friends or a potential relationship. It'll probably take longer than it does for most people, but the right people will understand and take things at your pace.

i’ve always dismissed any attention. so i see what you mean. but it’s important to remind yourself that you are not inferior. 

i feel very vulnerable in relationships. it can take me a while to understand how i feel about situations/people.

I feel exactly the same. After being rejected many times, I've started to reject others, to save them the bother of doing it themselves (as I except they will). After a while it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because when you withdraw from people, they withdraw from you. It takes openness to forge good friendships, but it is hard to open with people if you cannot bring yourself to trust them. So yeah, I cannot give you any advice because I am in the same boat. I was diagnosed only last year, and am hoping that with time it will become easier to trust people.

Thanks for your brutal honesty. I kind of understand your situation since I've always been an "outsider" most of my life. I feel inferior, and if anyone of the opposite sex looks at me, I am quick to belittle or dismiss the glance altogether.

Same. I've cut out pretty much everyone I've ever known because I 'know' deep down they will screw me over eventually or they have given up on me. I am not able to offer whatever social niceties they require. I live with my sister and her kids and I get along with them OK. They all have autism as well so we kind of get each other and just do our own thing. I suffered through some very traumatic experiences as a kid too. To not trust people is an absolutely normal response so do not worry about that at all. Just accept it. But it will change, slowly over time. Try to only let good people into your life. Supportive people that make you feel good. You will learn not all people are bad. In fact the majority are not. Coming to sites like this with like minded people is very helpful to stop you feeling alone.

One helpful thing my counselor said to me when I explained some of my less helpful behaviors - 'It's a normal reaction to an abnormal situation'. I repeat this in my head when I am struggling. Of course you have to take autism into account also which comes with its own social difficulties and can lead to isolation.