Bit of a ramble here but I'm feeling a bit frustrated with my brain at the moment. I've always had a strong drive to understand things & make sense of things, but I feel like a big part of me was blown away by my burnout two years ago. In the months that followed that, I literally didn't care what happened to me and knew that I had to rest and let my brain recover. I've been back at work now for over 18 months and I'm doing OK there being productive. But I still have less "zip" than I used to have in making sense of things and writing about them. I often find it difficult to get started on stuff because the initial steps don't give immediate payback & I keep procrastinating and dithering between alternative ways forwards. Part of me wants to recreate my blog with a slimmed down style that would be useful for others to read, but another part of me tells me that I don't *have to* and I can just chill and relax. When I try, often I can only write for 5 mins at a time and then I get worn out.
Not sure what to make of it - am I *still* recovering from burnout? Was the way I was before "too much"? Am I just finding a more relaxed way of being ""and that's OK"?
This applies to all my hobbies and pastimes at home too; my blogging, radio hobby etc; I think of stuff that I *want* to do, that I would find *enjoyable* but just find myself thinking that things are OK as they are and best left alone, so end up doing nothing about it.
