Published on 12, July, 2020
I am an adult woman with a (recent) diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome and I have been experiencing as a direct result of my diagnosis what I can only describe as meltdowns. They aren't 'angry' meltdowns - I mean - I do feel angry when I have them but I don't act in an aggressive way or break things, I just cry uncontrollably for a bit. It has occurred to me that actually, I have experienced these before as well, under other circumstances, usually alone, but it didn't really occur to me that this is not something that happens to everybody. I put it down to depression and personality - which to be fair I guess in a way is true - but now I'm starting to realise that it is probably connected to being on the spectrum.
I would like to understand more about this and I have tried to find information online, but it seems to be largely geared towards parents of autistic children and carers of more affected autistic people. What I would like is some resources to help me manage this behaviour in myself as it impacts my mental health and also to a degree my relationships with others. Does anybody know any good books that cover this? I am particularly interested in the way autism manifests in women, so if there is anything you can recommend on that subject I would be very grateful.
Or does anybody have any advice - for instance is this likely to be a direct result of my autism or could it be another mh condition? I don't really meet enough criteria for anything 'interesting' (and I have done extensive research) but I definitely have anxiety and depression.
Hang on... it just occurred to me that what I'm describing might just be better described as crying. Lol. Well anyway, any advice is appreciated.
It's interesting to read about your experience because I've had these kind of meltdowns where you break down in uncontrollable tears for most of my life and only very recently realised they could be related to autism (I'm also a woman who's recently been diagnosed in my 20s).
The best information I've found on it so far is this: https://www.autismwestmidlands.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Meltdown_shutdown.pdf The site actually has quite a few different information leaflets that are aimed at adults with the diagnosis and their friends and families (I totally hear your frustration about most of the resources out there being for children/teens and their parents as well, as I've found the same in my searches).
Thank you for that link, it's a really helpful leaflet. I definitely do the shutdown thing and only occasionally complete meltdown. Meltdown is usually a result of not being able to shutdown and self-regulate. I have previously thought the uncontrollable crying was just related to my depression but I'm now re-thinking this.
Yeh I had never realised that uncontrollable crying could be autism-related until I was going through the assessment process. I knew that other people didn't do it (particularly in the kind of situations that often trigger it in me, and often in public places which I've always found really embarrassing), but I always just assumed it was anxiety/depression/me being pathetic and having no self-control.