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A guy with AS kissed me without my permission

Hope

I went for lunch with a man who has AS. I also have AS and I am 25 years old; he is 50 years old. I don't know him too well, but we met at a social group for people with AS. He is single but has been in a relationship before. I am a *** and have never fancied men.

I found him hard to get on with at first because he stands too close to me, invades my space and sometimes takes to whispering in my ear, which I find VERY uncomfortable and so I move away from him when this happens. But he seemed to be getting better with with this so I agreed to meet him for lunch at a cafe last Friday. The lunch went well, but just as we were saying goodbye, he opened his arms wide in the hug gesture. I hesitated because I don't really like hugs, but I thought it would be rude to decline a friendly gesture. However, he took me completely by surprise. The hug was very tight and oppressive, and he then tried to kiss me, but I moved away and said ''I don't like being kissed', and then said bye to him and walked home. This incident has made me feel quite nervous and I have decided never to meet him on his own again because he did not ask my permission and has therefore broken my trust. However, he attends the group I go to and I don't want to stop going to the group. What do I do?

  • It does sound like he's misread the situation.

    Tell him that you don't like to be hugged or kissed by friends and that you are not interested in a relationship with him. If you can't tell him, then just write him a short note and keep it simple. I think it's best to sort this out so that you can then both continue to go to the group.

    Sharon

  • hi hope,

               First of all i think its an entirely appropraite decision you have made not to meet him again on your own because you feel uncomfortable with him and because he has broken your trust. Secondly,  it sounds as though you handled the entire thing extremley well considering how you must have felt.

    Does the group you go to have a place where you could perhaps talk to him and make your position on not having a relationship with him clear to him,  somewhere within sight of the other group members, so you are not on your own. It may be that he has just completley misread the entire situation and hasnt intended to cause you upset.